Girl from Mars
by Aiko'sNight-Patrol
Summary: It could be said that Lily Evans was a believer. She believed in Perfection. She believed in Soulmates. She believed that one day she would fall in love, and her world would fall apart. Unfortunately for Lily Evans, fate had other ideas....
1. Sugar meets Spice

_Just to get it over and done with…_

_I am not JKR. I do not look like JKR, I do not sound like JKR, and I am neither as rich nor talented as JKR. You get the picture, yes?_

_Chapter one_

"Quills down, please" Professor Flitwick voice echoed through the great hall "that means you too Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! _Accio!_"

The students laughed as the huge mound of exam papers collided with the tiny teacher, knocking him backwards. Several nearby students rushed to pick up the now slightly flustered professor, who adjusted his pointed wizards hat with as much dignity as he could muster before excusing the students from the hall.

Lily Evans chuckled slightly as she made her way from the great hall down the front steps and into the grounds. The weather was perfect- just what the exam-weary fifth years needed after hours of cramped hands, boredom and mental fatigue.

Looking round, the pretty, red haired girl saw a gaggle of her fellow fifth year Gryffindors sitting by the edge of the lake. She made her way over to them.

"Hey Lils!" Hepzibah Prewett and Alice Fletcher grinned at her from the grassy bank. Lily ditched her bag and sat down next to them and grinned.

"How d'you find the paper then?" Lily asked. She herself was almost sure that she had passed with reasonable merit- her last minute cramming rarely proved ineffective. Hepzibah groaned.

"It was TERRIBLE!" she whined pitifully, banging her head off an open copy of _'A Revised Guide to Transfiguration- Master or Disaster'._ _"_There is no waaaay I passed, that question on counter-jinxes was a killer!" There was a general murmur of agreement. Lily patted her friend sympathetically, all the while aware of the fact that Hepzibah was a self-confessed queen of overreaction.

"I'm sure you'll do fine," Lily assured her confidently "You definitely have brains _somewhere_ behind that bimbo exterior." The girls laughed, save for Hepzibah; who squealed and pretended to sulk, flicking her long straw blonde locks around in a most indignant manner; and in doing so illustrating her friend's joke about her appearance perfectly.

At that moment a loud crack echoed across the previously peaceful landscape, and a source of great commotion appeared to have arisen near to an old beech tree a little way along from the girls. Many of the other students were now making their way towards the scene, some laughing, others looking slightly concerned. A male voice wafted over to them- a stream of foul language mixed with some extremely unpleasant hexes. Another voice cut over the top, this time one Lily was all too familiar with.

"Wash your mouth out! _Scourgify!" _The sound of gagging and choking cut the air- sounding rather horribly as if someone was being strangled.

A growl of immense annoyance escaped Lily's lips; without pausing she got up, grabbing her wand as she went and marched angrily towards the scene, her gaggle of expectant friends close on her heels.

"JAMES POTTER! Leave him ALONE!"

Severus Snape, an irritable, unpopular boy who was widely acknowledged to have a far superior knowledge of the dark arts than was required or, indeed, taught at Hogwarts, was lying on the grass, pink bubbles spewing from his mouth. With the arrival of his fellow fifth-year girls James Potter seemed to lose all interest in the aforementioned boy- his hand had darted immediately to his hair and he ran his hand through it casually- giving it an interesting ruffled look.

"All right, Evans?" he asked, in what he clearly thought was his most appealing voice. It was lost on Lily.

"I said…leave him alone!" Lily glared at him with enough hatred to wither a devils snare outright; her green eyes glinting with disgust. "What's he ever done to you?"

James smirked at this last remark.

'Well, it's more the fact he exists if you know what I mean..'

The surrounding onlookers laughed- it was clear which of the boys was the more popular.

Behind Lily Hepzibah, Alice and the rest of Lily's friends were still smirking contentedly at her outburst. Fair to say they were more than used to them- having been friends with her near enough five years they were accustomed to her fights for justice- especially ones in which a certain star Quidditch player was involved.

'What's the betting Lily comes up with another of her killer put-downs, cruelly rejecting the dashing young lad's hopes of wooing her?' Aiko Yasui, a small, pretty Japanese girl held up a silver sickle.

'….I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid!'

Aiko laughed.

'Killer, that one was. Absolute killer.' She shook her head in amusement. 'Although in my personal opinion 'If we were the last two human beings on earth I'd thank God for sperm donation' is the undefeated personal best for Lily.'

Lily's rant was continuing; now becoming both more rapid in its delivery as well as increasingly loud and high pitched, finally ending on the words 'You make me SICK!' before she stormed off in the general direction of the castle, her friends trotting after her trying to contain their amusement.

The fifth years' final examination- transfiguration- was the following morning- so it was unsurprising to find a dozen or so of them still by the common room fire in the small hours of the day, all revising hard from their combined notes and textbooks. All that is, except a certain couple of marauders.

"Don't you think you should at least _open_ a textbook tonight?" Remus Lupin made another feeble attempt at exerting some influence over his wayward friends to little avail. Sirius Black yawned in a rather exaggerated way and stretched.

"While I do appreciate your concerns, ole buddy ole chum, you are once again assuming that I am one of these lesser mortals who actually finds revision necessary." He said, in a rather condescending tone. "Do I have to remind you that since Prongs and I successfully managed to complete the animagus transformations just this year- arguably the hardest transfiguration there is- a lowly exam is hardly what I'd call taxing."

"Cocky git." Remus cast an exasperated look at his friend before returning to his revision. Next to him James lay sprawled in a Victorian-style armchair doodling pictures of broomsticks and snitches on an old piece of parchment. Flicking his wand, he made the broomstick fly across the parchment, the tiny, illustrated, red-haired girl astride it reaching out her hand and grasping the winged ball between her fingers. Sirius leaned over and smirked as the girl flew in a circle around the page before landing on the ground and dusting off her robes.

"Awwww, ikkle Jamesie's in luuurve!" James blushed slightly and crumpled the parchment beneath his fingers, scoffing.

"Shut up Padfoot, you're just jealous! And I am not in love. I could have any girl I wanted to!" Sirius smirked again

'Jealous? Of what?" He taunted "I think you'll find _I've _never been rejected in my life. And while the fact that you could 'have any girl you wanted' is highly debatable, since you only want one girl. And, no offence mate, but she definitely wont let you 'have her'."

James's usual mischievous smirk disappeared. Grunting something about 'being tired' he grabbed his schoolbag and stormed up the stairs leading to the boys dormitories. Remus looked up from his work, looking sternly at Sirius.

"What?" Sirius attempted to look nonchalant "What?"

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Three floors above where the marauders sat engrossed in their varying amounts of revision, Lily Evans lay sprawled out on her bed. She had refused to join her friends in the common room, telling them that 'that pathetic excuse for a human being would just wind me up' and was instead revising on her own, surrounded by six other empty beds. Although avoiding the common room had seemed like a good idea at the time, she was now starting to regret it. The lack of company- combined with the fact that she knew her transfiguration notes word for word- meant that the only things left to think about was going home in two weeks, something she dreaded passionately every year and even more so this year, when came the time of Petunia's eighteenth birthday party. Lily would be expected to make polite small talk with the likes of Desperately Dull Deborah, Terribly Tedious Tina and a large selection of Petunia's other, astonishingly boring friends gossiping about topics which held no interest whatsoever for Lily

The thoughts of this were almost enough to drive Lily down to the common room- but not quite. Luckily at that precise moment Aiko and Hepzibah flung themselves noisily into the dormitory, thankfully interrupting Lily's morose musings with a highly excited discussion about the merits of Puddlemere United (Aiko's team) against the Holyhead Harpies (whom Hepzibah practically obsessed over due to the combined facts that their training ground was a mere half mile from her house and that Myfanwe Davies, who lead the harpies to win the European league in 1970 had once told Hepzibah that she 'showed promise' as a chaser.)

"I'm telling you, Zi, the harpies have got NO chance next season! Williams and Davies were brilliant but they're hardly in their prime anymore are they? Davies is practically _geriatric_ in the Quidditch world!"

"Yeah but _Puddlemere United_? I mean come on! The _Canons_ are practically a more feasible bet to win the league next year!" Hepzibah scoffed.

Lily - who took a passing interest in Quidditch but never really considered herself a follower - was at least grateful for the distraction.

"Hey" she interjected, "you know Ludo? That cute Hufflepuff guy who left last year? Apparently the Wasps are really interested in him as a beater!"

Aiko and Hepzibah seemed to consider this piece of information worthy enough to merit discussion; they stopped bickering instantly.

"Reaaaallly?" Hepzibah asked, with a somewhat indecent amount of relish.

"Well, he was really talented" Injected Aiko.

'Yeah, in more ways than one…………'

The three girls laughed and the conversation descended into a discussion about the merits of various young attractive Quidditch players, pushing all thoughts of Petunia and her awful party to the back of her mind.

Lily wished she could say the same three weeks later. The holidays had arrived in what seemed like a hideously short amount of time, and she found herself standing amongst a group of some of the most boring people she had ever met, telling them that yes, The Edward Fisher-Lee School for gifted youths was in fact a fantastic place to go. Lily had at first been slightly puzzled over why Petunia had told her friends that she was 'gifted' rather than 'an abnormal circus freak', however after having listened to Tina and Deborah wax lyrical about how clever/ talented/ pretty their sisters were and how 'Daddy' was going to buy them race horses/ yachts/ private jets/ small islands in the Seychelles she had realised that for these girls three bedroom semis in Surrey clearly wasn't enough. Lily had barely been able to control her derisive snort when Tina had claimed that 'Daddy is hiring a boat for my 18th, he says we can take a holiday to New Zealand as well', when Lily knew for a fact that Tina's father was a car salesman at the local Ford dealership and was about as likely to be able to afford a trip to New Zealand than he was to sprout wings and take a quick trip across the Channel.

After about half an hour of this tedium, Lily had thought that by no means could the party possibly get any worst. She was about to be proved wrong. It was about a quarter to eight when the doorbell rang sharply, and for some inexplicable reason Petunia and her friends seemed to become ridiculously excited about something. Well, at least, they had all started squealing in a sort of ultrasonic way that, had Lily been with one of her friends at the time would have merited at least a sarcastic quip or mocking imitation. Since - in reality - Lily found herself completely alone amongst a large group of her sister's friends who were all dressed in ridiculous muggle fashions involving stack heels and pigtails the worst she could do was wince and scowl.

The source of the squealing was all too soon to be revealed to her.

A group of large, pompous looking boys- the sort who attend private grammar schools and fancy themselves popular when they are in fact merely bullying, fat and self-opinionated- were standing in the doorway and, to Lily's utter disgust, the largest, most pompous looking of them all had his arm draped in a rather sleazy manner around her sister's shoulders. Petunia's normally pale, bony features had become uncharacteristically flushed and she was batting her eyelids in a way that she obviously fancied was attractive, although in Lily's eyes was the sort of thing to induce projectile vomiting.

"Everyone' gushed Petunia in a breathy, girly voice completely different from the norm 'This is _Vernon!_"

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Reviews, anyone?


	2. summertime, loving is easy

**Authors note- this chapter is dedicated to Mooncheese for being one of my bestest best friends in the entire world and Tonks42 for being my first reviewer - thanks!**

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About fifty miles away from the suburban cul-de-sac in which Lily was suffering her own personalised version of hell, another Hogwarts student was also wishing he was somewhere else. In a large, grimy Victorian terrace in southwest London, Sirius Black had finally had enough.

"YOU MUGGLE LOVING FILTH!" A thin, dark haired woman in an old fashioned dress was screaming bloody murder from the top of the stairs and firing a string of jinxes at her son, pausing only to hurl what she considered offensive insults at him.

"SCOURGE TO OUR ANCESTORS! FILTH! BLOOD-TRAITOR! DONT EXPECT TO BE SPARED WHEN THE PURE BLOODS REVOLT, YOU WILL GO DOWN! DOWN WITH THE REST OF YOUR FILTHY MUDBLOOD FRIENDS!"

Considering the array of hexes and sharp objects being used as missiles by his deranged mother, the young Mr Black seemed amazingly unperturbed as he pulled together his array of battered suitcases (all the half-way decent luggage in the house was emblazoned with the noble Black family crest, and hence unsuitable for the Muggle-spawned blood traitor). Dragging what, he mused sadly as he dodged a particularly lethal-looking letter opener, were his entire worldly possessions, he kicked open the front door and turned to face his mother

"Goodbye Mummy-dear!" He sneered, his voice seething with undisguised hatred, "Do write now and then, you know how desolate I will be without your constant correspondence…"

With that he threw his possessions out onto the street, and slammed the front door, blocking out the blood-curdling shrieks of the creature to whom he felt nothing but hatred and revulsion for; the person that, if it weren't for the unfortunate connection of bloodline between them, he would have wiped from his life years beforehand. Sitting on top of a particularly large case that contained all his schoolbooks, he reached inside his blazer coat and pulled out a small, square mirror. Concentrating on its gleaming surface, he spoke into it.

"Prongs? You there?" There was no response. He tried again, aware of the fact that had any muggles chosen that moment to walk past he would have looked extremely strange indeed, sat as he was amongst his assortment of possessions on the street talking to inanimate objects. He tried again, a little louder

"James!" Abandoning all attempts at dignity, he bellowed into the mirror:

"JAMES POTTER YOU MESSY-HAIRED TWAT LISTEN TO THE VOICE IN YOUR MIRROR AND ANSWER ME!" There was a scuffling sound that appeared to come out of the mirror itself, and then the messy dark hair and bespectacled face of James Potter himself appeared, looking slightly bemused.

"Wassup?" he croaked blearily. "And, for your information, my hair is not messy. It is merely 'artistically ruffled'!" He appeared to have just woken up, a slightly odd scenario considering the time of day, but Sirius knew his friends peculiar habits too well to bother questioning him.

"James – I've done it!" James looked blankly at him.

"You what?" It was all Sirius could do to stop himself from laughing- James' face appeared glazed and confused which looked all the more comical when combined with his messy hair and a large, red crease line on the side of his cheek where his pillow had been.

"I've done it! I told the old witch where to get off!" His friends' expression remained vacant. Sirius sighed; frustrated.

"I've left home!"

A look of dawning comprehension passed over the other boys face – immediately James was awake and staring into the mirror intently, mouth open in shock.

"You moved out? Really? Bloody hell!"

"I know!"

"What did your mum say?" Sirius grimaced.

"Oh you know…the usual crap. But mate, I've got a problem. I've got nowhere to stay. I don't suppose I could kind of… crash at your place for a while?" James' boyish face split into a wide grin.

"Of course you can! Mum'll be delighted! She's been going on about poor Sirius all summer - I expect she would have come down and dragged you up here herself if this hadn't happened." Sirius smiled in relief, thinking, not for the first time in his life, how grateful he was for people like the Potters, with whom he had stayed on numerous occasions since starting Hogwarts as an excuse to escape the hellhole he had been forced to call home. James, who now seemed far more awake, was scribbling intently on a piece of old parchment with a broken quill.

"Wha…?" Sirius frowned in confusion. James looked back into the mirror.

"Ok Padfoot mate, I've just owled the Ministry - if you get down there now they'll provide a floo link with mine! I guess I'll see you in a bit then!" Sirius grinned happily and watched as the mirror clouded and James disappeared from view. Picking up his possessions, he began to drag them the half mile that separated the miserable House of Black from the entrance to the Ministry and what promised to be the best summer Sirius Black had ever had.

Sirius' arrival at the Potters large Gloucestershire farmhouse caused a great deal of excitement. Mrs. Potter (who was exceptionally fond of Sirius) immediately put all her efforts into cooking a casserole large enough to feed the whole of the Hogwarts student body, never mind two teenage boys. Mr. Potter had seized his wand and gone off to do a bit off rearranging upstairs in order to make the spacious spare bedroom all the more comfortable. James, who despite his sixteen years still maintained many characteristics of an eight year old, was merely dashing excitedly round the house gathering quaffles, beater bats and broomsticks and owling a good number of Hogwarts students for a celebratory Quidditch match.

After the initial excitement, July passed in a haze for the two boys, who frequently met with the remaining two marauders for Quidditch and in order to plan a large array of tricks and jokes on unwitting fellow students and professors. The days were long and hot- the heat wave of 1976 was greatly appreciated, as it left ample opportunity to practise their favourite sport and lounge around in the Potter's considerable grounds. Mrs Potter did not seem to object to the other boys constant presence in the slightest- on the contrary she prepared ridiculously large and delicious snacks for them all and practically waited on them, providing butterbeer, pumpkin juice and all array of sweets whenever they were required. James- who often found that the summers on his own were exceedingly lonely- was grateful for the company of his best friend, although he would never admit it. Sirius- for whom the previous school holidays had been anticipated with about as much enthusiasm one associates with visits to the dentist- was happier than he could ever remember. Even the outside threat of the ever-growing army of Death Eaters could not spoil the mood that surrounded Godric House in that long, peaceful July.

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After being forced against her every will to spend a large part of July and early August in the company of Petunia and the revoltingly unsavoury Vernon, Lily could not remember ever being more grateful for the arrival of Alice's mid-holiday letter, which arrived clutched in the beak of Alice's barn owl, Floyd. The owl was named after a muggle band that Alice had recently developed an obsession with after borrowing some of Lily's records for a muggle studies class. **(A/n: Pink Floyd baby rock on!)**

_**Lils,**_

_I know you're probably desperate to escape your sister so I thought I'd invite you to stay at mine through August. Zis is coming too; she says she wants to visit her cousin- she is pregnant or something like that. Anyway, see you soon; write back if you wanna come and I'll pick you up at 3.30 on Saturday. We're having a party!_

_Hope Petunia hasn't driven you insane!_

_Alice x x x x_

Lily grinned and scribbled _Love to come see you soon_ on the back of the parchment as Floyd waited patiently to return home for his dinner.

The next week, as far as Lily was concerned, couldn't go fast enough. The thought of finally escaping her nightmare of a home (albeit with very nice parents) was the most exciting thought she'd had all summer. Alice's house was always a good place to stay over the summer- not least because her parents threw some of the most famous and exclusive parties in the wizarding world. Alice's father, Algernon Fletcher, was the deputy head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, which meant he knew pretty much everyone who worked at the ministry and hence could summon up some pretty fantastic guests. The guest lists for last years Christmas party had been rumoured to include vampires, hags, several members of the highly successful Appleby Arrows team of 75 and even the Minister for Magic himself. Lily knew Alice had been trying for years to get her dad to hire Four Broken Spells- a four part progressive rock band whose appearance at the party would be enough to seal its reputation as THE place to be seen. So far she had had no luck, but Lily turned up every year just to be sure.

Saturday seemed to drag by- Lily spent most of the morning flopping around on the sofa watching re-runs of The Clangers and trying in vain to convince herself that her homemade fan was actually cooling her rather than just blowing the hot, humid air around a bit more.

One o clock- surely it had to be later than that? She was in the house on her own- Petunia had gone shopping for her first car with their parents- her eighteenth birthday present. Bored, Lily spent the next half hour re-checking (for about the hundredth time) that she had everything she needed. For once she was actually sad that the OWLs meant no homework for the holidays- at least it would have given her something to do.

Two thirty. The familiar click of the front door alerted her of the fact her parents were home. Petunia crowed happily about the brand new Austin 1100 parked in the driveway before throwing Lily a filthy look and disappearing off up to her room to phone Tina and brag some more. Charming.

Alice's eventual arrival at 4 o'clock that afternoon, seated in one of the best cars the Ministry owned (it paid to have influence) was as welcome to Lily as an oasis in a desert. Much as she adored her parents, 5 weeks spent outside the wizarding world unable to perform any kind of magic or even chat with her best friends was unbearable. Grabbing her suitcase, she kissed her parents quickly goodbye (she would see them before she returned to Hogwarts to collect the rest of her school books) and jumped into the impressive looking black car.

Alice grinned at her from the back seat.

"Hey," she said. "You know I'd get up and hug you but I am just too damn comfortable." Lily grinned back. The cab was indeed very luxurious- the seats were suede and there was a small gap in the back of the seats which politely inquired as to what refreshments you would like for the trip. Alice- who much to Lily's envy still caught up with the entire goings on in the wizard world during the holidays- spent the next 45 minutes updating Lily with all things gossip. Who was dating who, who dumped whom, parties, drunken flings and petty fallouts were all covered. Lily noticed that the topic of Voldemort was casually avoided- as if failing to mention it would cover the growing numbers of disappearances and the whispers about unforgivable curses. Gossip, Lily mused, was one of the many advantages of being born into a wizarding family. Lily was not ashamed of her roots ion the least, but she often wished that she could still feel a part of her world during the times she was outside of school.

The journey took surprisingly little time- they had not made the journey entirely by car as Lily had expected but had instead flooed to Alice's house via the ministry of magic. Being a muggle-born, Lily was not particularly fond of the floo network but she did at least appreciate that it was faster and safer than any muggle form of transportation, and it meant that by the time they arrived at Alice's large, spacious Norfolk home, the party preparations for the evening were still well under way and there was plenty going on. The girls offer to help was declined- the fact that they were not old enough to be allowed to perform magic outside of school detracted from their usefulness- and they were told to: "Just go and get ready" by Alice's mother; an invitation that they willingly accepted.

The party started at eight thirty that evening- as several hundred guests had began to arrive at the Fletchers. The party was to be held in a large field on the fens at the back of the family home. By nine, Lily had already chatted to the Minister, caught up with several of her friends who had left Hogwarts the previous year and flirted shamelessly with Christopher Ragwick- a beater for the Appleby Arrows with a body to prove it. Lily hoped her flirting had been subtle and sophisticated yet obvious, and yet she had the sneaking suspicion that it had been more groupie and desperate. Picking up a glass of rose mead from a passing waiter Lily wound in and out of the crowd, searching out the rest of her friends.

She found them almost immediately. Unfortunately- and much to her immense distaste- they were in the company of James Potter and Sirius Black. The Potters made an appearance most years at the Fletchers parties- something Alice said couldn't be avoided due to James' father's influence at the ministry. Sirius, she saw disgustedly, was paying very close attention to Hepzibah's considerable cleavage; he obviously wasn't aware that the nods and uhuhs emitting from him at regular intervals did not disguise his complete lack of attention to what Hepzibah was actually saying.

Lily wandered over, sighing irritably as her arrival sparked the imminent hair fluffing on the part of Potter. He grinned at her in what he seemed to think was an endearing way.

"Hey Lily." He looked her up and down. "I must say you are looking lovely tonight…"

"Hey James!" she simpered. "I see you're going for the usual stick-up-your-arse look tonight!" Sirius- momentarily distracted from Hepzibah's breasts- smirked at Lily.

"Ah my dear- so cruel- must you break the poor boys heart so frequently?" Lily looked daggers at him. He turned away, still smirking. James seemed unperturbed by Lily's flat refusal of his immense charm, merely grinning at her. Lily found this highly unnerving.

"Stop STARING at me Potter!"

"You won't be saying that on our wedding day," he quipped.

"No, you're right." James looked surprised at this apparent turn of events. "I'll be a bit preoccupied, what with Hell freezing over and all that."

The rest of the group had started to look edgy- this was how Lily and James famous one-sided screaming matches (James didn't often get much screaming done) usually began.

"You know you love me," James said, happily. Lily did not look pleased at this apparent revelation

"No, Potter," she said, scathingly "What I actually know is that you are, in fact, selfish, arrogant, and a bully. I am about as likely to love you as I am to pole dance with hags." James smiled, running his tongue over his teeth with the sort of endearing, boyish charm that sent many of Lily's fellow students into raptures of swooning, often followed by periods of doodling Mrs J Potter across old bits of parchment.

"Now THAT," he said, with great relish "is something I'd like to see."

Lily growled, frustrated.

"You know, Lily," James quipped, "All that anger… That could be put to very good use in b.." Lily cut in angrily.

"If, Potter, you are inferring that I would ever, EVER sleep with you, you are sadly mistaken." Her eyes flashed angrily. "You are, without a doubt, one of the most unpleasant people I have ever met. Lily was on full rant mode at this point, but this didn't stop her using the most cutting remarks she could think up in the short pauses she kept having to make in order to breath. "Anyway," she ranted, "I am in no doubt that your dick is infinitely smaller than your ego!" James looked highly affronted at the suggestion, but Lily hadn't finished. "With your utter lack of morals and decorum, I'm surprised they didn't put you in Slytherin! You belong there!"

This, more than any other remark, hit a nerve, and James responded angrily:

"I am a hundred times better than those scum!"

"No, Potter." Lily had mustered every bit of scorn she could feel, her voice dripped with undisguised disdain. "You are just as arrogant as them, just as pathetic, and bullying. You pick on people who are less popular than you, just so that people will laugh at them and admire you. Well I don't! Ok?"

James, by this point, was severely hacked off. Lily's casual dismissals of him were usually handled stoically enough. Every so often, however the constant streams of insults got too much for him, and this particular argument had hit a nerve. His jaw tightened, and his usually laughing eyes hardened. Muttering something incomprehensible under his breath, he turned away from Lily's scornful glare and walked off towards the bar and the temptation of incredibly strong alcohol. Sirius, who had finally begun to take in a larger portion of his surrounding than previously, stood up straight and looked seriously at Lily.

"There's no need to take it so far, you know," he said shortly, and, turning away from the gaggle of Griffindor girls, followed his best friends retreating back.

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**Okayyy…. I am not the begging type…. But PLEASSEEE PLEASE review…. It's just an ikkle button click… it will take like, THIRTY SECONDS out of your lives! PLEASE! Looks pointedly at small review button and does puppy dog eyes**


	3. Good as Gold, Stupid as Mud

**A/N: I would just like to point out that- being the courteous person that I am- I do return all reviews. So, in other words, if you review my story, I review yours. Nice, ja? This is not bribery. Well, ok, it might be….. slightly. But I do honestly value your opinion.**

**I would also like to thank HigherThanHope, who kindly reviewed both my chapters so far and also writes a very entertaining abd generally kick-ass story, which I strongly suggest people read. **

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Chapter 3 **

Good as Gold, Stupid as Mud

The aftermath of the Fletcher's party had varying effects on the witches and wizards in attendance. James, having drunk vast quantities of mead and firewhisky, was nursing a severe hangover. To add insult to injury the firewhisky cocktail he had tried appeared to have had an odd reaction with his body- his skin had turned a faint shade of green and was sweating gently- the fact that his OWL results were due that day only added to the feeling of nausea.

Lily, on the other hand, had woken up in a perfect mood. After the incident with James, which Lily was firmly putting to the back of her mind in case her conscience should - heaven forbid - actually make her feel guilty, she had had a great time. Christopher (call me Chris) Ragwick had got her address and promised to owl her to see if she ever felt like catching up. Hepzibah had disappeared with Sirius and a crate of some strange coloured, highly alcoholic substance of dubious origin and had reappeared well after three that morning; paralytic and with what looked suspiciously like a love bite on her neck. Despite the fact that she vehemently insisted that she had no idea where it had come from, and that she could not remember any of the previous nights events, she had blushed furiously when Alice had casually slipped in a mention of Sirius' name.

Aiko, who, like Hepzibah, was decidedly worse off due to the amount of alcohol consumption, was found drinking sludgy white ooze, which she claimed was a hangover miracle cure. Lily thought she would take her word for it. Her brightness had greatly annoyed the more delicate visitors to the household- flinging open the curtains to reveal dazzling sunlight had not gone down at all well. However, in her unusually cheerful mood Lily had not minded their screamed insults and threats at all. Going downstairs she found Margot Fletcher in the middle of cooking a fabulous smelling full English breakfast, presumably out of sympathy for the nauseous teens that inhabited the upstairs of her house. Lily walked out into the garden. Many of the non-apparating witches and wizards had opted to stay over in large, luxurious tents in the garden to escape the travelling so late at night, and hence there was still a light hearted, party atmosphere around the property.

Lily smiled as she sat and watched a red faced, balding wizard cook breakfast for his younger, more attractive wife. The results of the soon-to-be sixth years OWLs were out today. A shiver of apprehension came over Lily. She was a bright girl- she knew she had passed acceptably- but it didn't stop her being slightly apprehensive for the results. At least she didn't have a hangover (this was, if any, only a small comfort.) She tried to assure herself that her newly elated mood was a good omen for the day's events.

Lily lay flat on her back and gazed up at the sky. It was a deep, almost cyan blue; only traces of wispy clouds could be seen on the horizon. She heard a soft pattering of bare feet across the grass towards her, and Aiko sat down along side her sprawled figure.

"Hey," Lily said conversationally, her gaze still fixed on the azure sky. "How's it going?" Aiko grinned- her famous hangover cure was obviously effective judging by her miraculously restored enthusiasm for bright sunlight.

"Great," she replied. And then - "I hear you had a run in with James last night?" Aiko had arrived late and hence avoided the open warfare. Lily grimaced, her peaceful mood evaporating slightly.

"I hate him." She said shortly. Aiko had been told this several hundred times before, and rolled her eyes- vaguely amused at her friend's passionate hatred of the star chaser.

"He's not really all that bad, you know," she told Lily. "Once you get to know him." Aiko was the only one of Lily's friends who had any time for the Marauders- they had probably bonded whilst simultaneously raiding the kitchens or bunking off lessons. She was not a regular part of the Marauders close-knit group, but they were fond of her in terms of a drinking buddy or an accessory in one of their many pranks. Lily laughed derisively.

"That's ok for you to say, Aiko, he doesn't _harass_ you." Aiko grinned wickedly and tried a different approach; partly because she knew it was futile and partly because she enjoyed winding her friend up.

"You know, they say there's a very thin line between love and hate." She smiled innocently. Lily glared at her and pointedly changed the subject.

"OWL results are due out today." This was a fairly pointless thing to say, as Aiko was perfectly aware it was results day, and, to be frank, she didn't really give a damn. She glared at Lily.

"I did realise that Lils, but I was planning on having an hour of calm before the fear and stress really hits home." Lily had the decency to look apologetic. Aiko took a squashed roll up out of her back pocket and lit it, inhaling deeply.

"I have FAILED them all!" She announced dramatically. Lily snorted.

"Like fuck you did." The girls sat in silence for a few minutes, pondering over the possible outcomes of their results.

"Hepzibah's really stressed out," Aiko announced. "She keeps holding her head and groaning. She looks really pale."

"So would you if you'd drunk about a litre of…whatever the hell it was she drank." retorted Lily. Aiko laughed. She glimpsed her watch; It was 9.30- early for a post Fletcher party day, but in the current circumstances Lily was glad that she had dragged her tired body out of bed a couple of hours before the norm. There could be nothing worse than being woken up to find a brown envelope with the power to impact your whole future strewn casually over your bed. Hogwarts letters and information usually arrived mid morning, and the four best friends had decided in first year that they would open their results together. Lily thought it would be best to return to the house.

Hepzibah, as Aiko had so bluntly pointed out, looked a wreck. Either her potion had been less effective than Aiko's, or it was the nerves that were responsible for the white green pallor of her face. Her normally immaculate ash blonde hair had been mixed into stubborn tangles as a result of her clenching the roots and repeatedly running trembling fingers through it. Lily stood in the doorway, raising an eyebrow as Hepzibah paced frantically past her twice without seeing her, apparently engaged in a wild, muttered conversation with the floor.

Lily coughed loudly. Hepzibah started and span around, eyes focusing for the first time on her friend. For a moment all was silence. And then -

"LILY!" Lily stumbled slightly as Hepzibah flung herself at her, grabbing her arm in an iron grip which suggested she was either terrified or certifiably insane.

"Oh Merlin Lily help me! I've failed them all! I'm just a stupid bimbo! I'm a disgrace to my family, I'm so stupid and dumb there is no way I've passed, Merlin oh Merlin oh my God MRRRRRUUUUUUUAAAAGGGHHH!"

Her insane ramblings petered away until they were just a string of incomprehensible words jumbled together. Lily's arm was starting to loose feeling from the elbow down. She briefly wondered if she should slap the other girl- she vaguely remembered being told to do something along those lines when she was in the Brownie Guides aged eight- something about treating hyperventilation? She tried it, bringing her hand swiftly to meet the other girl's cheek. Hepzibah stood up, stunned and indignant, but at least it had prevented her from choking on her own tongue, which had seemed on the cards had she been left to her own devices.

Alice flashed a rather weak smile at Lily from the back of the room, where she had been sitting in silence while Hepzibah worked herself up into a frenzy. As a general rule, Alice was fairly laid back when it came to all things academic, and she looked a little less ill than Hepzibah, although her hands were definitely shaking as she drummed out a small tune onto the table.

Aiko, in contrast to Lily's other friends, was sitting on the stool at the breakfast bar looking serenely calm. Aiko was reasonably bright, but had spent a large proportion of her OWL year partying, drinking with the Marauders (much to her friends distaste) and having sex (not with the Marauders- it must be said- at least not to Lily's knowledge). She had, by her own admission, done just about enough to scrape passes in a few of her subjects. The obvious exception was astronomy, with which Aiko had an avid fascination and was predicted an Outstanding.

Mrs Fletcher set the steaming cooked breakfast on the table before them. Aiko immediately tucked in. Alice, on then other hand, looked faintly nauseous, while Hepzibah actually put her hand to her mouth and ran gagging from the room. Lily sat down, and tried to force her churning stomach to eat the delicious food. She kept glancing at her watch, she wasn't sure why, she had no idea what time the results would arrive, but it made her feel better. The clock on the wall seemed very loud. Lily had been trying to convince herself that she wasn't at all nervous, but the butterflies in her stomach were determinedly defying her.

Lily was halfway through a piece of bacon when a gagging noise next to her drew her to the realisation that four large, officious looking tawny owls had just alighted on the window sill. The gagging came from Hepzibah, whose skin had paled so much she looked like an albino Barbie doll. Lily made her way hesitantly over to the window. Aiko had already grabbed her envelope enthusiastically, earning her an icy stare from the largest owl. Lily examined her own parchment envelope, Dumbledore's curly hand swimming before her eyes.

_Lily Evans_

_The Old Parsonage_

_Greater Wymondhead_

_Norfolk_

Taking a breath, Lily ripped open the envelope and stared at her results. She scanned them for a moment to take in the grades. Then breathed a sigh of relief. They were ok- as good as she had expected. Better, in some cases.

_ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL RESULTS_

_Pass grades: Outstanding (O) _

_Exceeds Expectations: (E)_

_Acceptable (A)_

_Fail Grades:____Dreadful (D)_

_Poor (P)_

_Troll (T)_

_LILY SUZANNE EVANS HAS ACHIEVED:_

_Astronomy: A_

_Arithmancy: E_

_Care of Magical Creatures: __E_

_Charms: O_

_Defence Against the Dark Arts: E_

_Herbology: E_

_History of Magic; A_

_P__otions: O_

_**Study of Ancient Runes: E**_

_Transfiguration: O

* * *

_

Lily grinned in spite of herself. At least she hadn't failed any! And Outstanding in transfiguration! That was better than she had predicted. In the corner Aiko was raising an eyebrow at her results and sniggering. "What d'you get?" she asked curiously. Aiko grinned at her.

"I got a T in Arithmancy!" she giggled. Lily was not in the least bit surprised at this news; she had never quite understood what has possessed a girl with such a tremendous lack of mathematical ability to take the subject in the first place. Aiko had spent the majority of the two-year course gazing round the room, making her hand made origami swans fly and passing obscene notes to unsuspecting members of their class.

"You passed the rest though- right?" Lily didn't like the idea of Aiko being thrown out having not passed enough subjects to be accepted for NEWTs.

"Ummmm…" Aiko glanced at her sheet of parchment.

"I got, errrr, Outstanding in Astronomy…no surprises there...aaaand……. bloody hell - E in Care of Magical Creatures? How the fuck did I manage that?" Mrs Fletcher glanced disapprovingly at Aiko from the table, but didn't say anything. "Umm… I got an E in Charms and Transfiguration, A in Herbology and failed the rest."

Lily nodded approvingly.

"Well. You got 5 passes. That's not bad. Good, in fact." Aiko looked disbelieving, and opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a piercing shriek from Hepzibah.

"I PASSED!" She threw herself on Lily end enveloped her in a hug. Lily glanced over a mass of blonde hair to look at the results. Hepzibah had failed History of Magic; but then Lily supposed that the majority of their year had, so that was no great loss. Other than that she had passed well. Lily returned the hug.

In the corner of the room, Alice was still gazing quietly at her results. The other three looked over at her apprehensively. Alice was incredibly intelligent, and her results affected her future far more than the other three. Alice's ambition to become an Auror had started in 4th year when her cousin had been murdered, and Lily knew that she would have had to achieve good passes in most of her subjects. She was more than bright enough; however, she had driven herself into a complete panic in the weeks before the exams by convincing herself that she was guaranteed to fail them all. The girls waited expectantly.

Alice looked up.

"I did…. Err… pretty well!" Her round face split into a wide grin as she received a bundled hug from her friends. Aiko grabbed the paper out of her hand and uttered a sound of utter disbelief.

"Fuck me!" she yelled, earning her a second disapproving look from Alice's mother, who up to that point had been gazing proudly at her daughter.

"No thanks!" retorted Hepzibah. Aiko ignored her.

"EIGHT Outstandings! EIGHT! Merlin's beard, Alice!" Alice smirked, evidently trying not to look too pleased with herself. Mrs Fletcher- who was the kind of woman who had unspoken contests with their friends about their children's looks/ brains/ popularity/ manners etc- was clearly delighted with her daughter's results. This competitive nature was not the slightest bit objectionable to the girls, who were more than happy to enjoy being treated, pampered and generally spoiled by her. All in all, Lily considered, it had been a fairly successful day.

0o0

**A/N at the suggestion of my Beta (the darling and incredibly talented Mooncheese, who greatly improved this chapter for you) I will give Aiko's name phonetically for future reference. It is pronounced EYE-COE, although I know it looks like AYE-Coe, let me assure you it is, in fact, not. Well, some people might pronounce it like that. But I am not some people. So there. Ok, I'll shut up now. And if you are not too bored you might like to **

**REVIEW! REVIEW! RE-FREAKING-VIEW!**

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**I think I got my point across.**


	4. Totally Frank

**Disclaimer- Do you really think that if I was JKR I would be sitting here writing some crappy LJ when there is the seventh book to be written? NO? Then I don't own Harry Potter, do I.**

**A/N This chapter is dedicated to Sheila, a little old lady who lives in a bungalow down my road. She is exceptionally cool. **

**Hope you like the chapter, and don't forget to review! This chapter is a lot about Frank and Alice- they are a great couple who get very little recognition on FanFic so I thought I'd incorporate a bit of their tale into my LJ!**

**Also, quick note. I am writing a joint fiction with my Beta under the pen name TheEdithFactory. It should be posted within the next couple of days, so I just thought I'd advertise it and all. Get a link off my favourite authors list if you are interested. **

**Chapter 4**

**Totally Frank**

As a rule, James Potter found the whole returning-to-school lark far from what one might describe as thrilling.

In contrast to Sirius in his pre-escapee form, James found his home rather cushy compared with the day-to-day treadmill of school. Not that he approved of said treadmill. James saw it as his self-appointed purpose in life to make sure that every day at Hogwarts involved as much chaotic entertainment- usually in rule-breaking form- as possible. At least the summer holidays did not involve attending lessons, and, due to the fact that he was rather spoiled by his parents, any rule breaking he did indulge in away from school was rarely punished. So, all in all, the 1st of September was not his favourite day of the year.

There were however, he mused as he followed Lily Evans through the hustle and bustle of Kings Cross station, some perks to being back at school. His newly gained status as Gryffindor Quidditch captain, for example. The promise of several dozen pranks carefully prepared over the summer, (including one involving first years and suits of armour which James thought might turn out to be particularly challenging) and the more-than-pleasant company of a certain pretty 6th year to name just a few. Too bad for him that one of those perks had a tendency to look at him as if he was some sort of lower life form or scum. Like an amoeba. Or perhaps dog poo. But the redhead did at least provide a sight for sore eyes. James eyed her Levi covered bottom critically.

It wasn't even as if she were his type, he thought rather bitterly, as he struggled to keep her in sight through the flocks of people. That was what he had told himself for most of the first 3 years of Hogwarts. He preferred blondes. And it wasn't as if she were stunning. Sure, she was hot, but not in a conventional sense. Her nose was a tad too long. He didn't really like freckles. He liked less curvaceous girls- washboard-stomach and flat bum types. This is what he had repeated to himself over and over again with increasing lack of conviction. Until last year, when, to his immense horror as well as Lily's general distaste, he had practically began stalking the girl: harassing her for dates and making sexual innuendos in a sort of sad, desperate attempt to get her attention. Sure- he still had a life. He still pranked and went out and flirted. But, for the first time in his pampered life, James Potter could not get exactly what he wanted, and it was driving him to distraction.

Not for the first time, James thanked Merlin that he owned an invisibility cloak.

It was all he could handle being in this sad, pathetic state of stalker-dom (perhaps he could try the cold-shouldered approach this year?) without having Lily cause some kind of scene just because he was walking along beside her. Well, staring at her arse, but walking just the same. James wondered vaguely where Sirius was. He had left James' house early that morning, supposedly to pick up some kind of book from Flourish and Blotts, although he had mentioned something that sounded suspiciously like fake slugs and trains before he left. It had, however, been far too early for James to comprehend what the hell it was Sirius was actually saying.

As if in response to James' musings, Sirius appeared. Or rather a huge, wolf-like black dog materialised next to Lily, causing her to jump slightly- as one generally does when accosted by a large, unattended animal on a busy train station. Sirius, to James' immense annoyance, evidently saw his new form as a way to gain attention from the pretty redhead. If James had not know that he was invisible, he would have sworn that the animal gave him a rather smug, wolfish grin.

He licked Lily's hand, pressing his nose into her stomach, resulting in Lily giving him an absent minded scratch behind the ears, looking slightly perturbed by the fact she had apparently been accosted by a wolf. James glared. That bastard. Using there hard earned animagus status against him. Well, he would show him. Making sure his invisibility cloak was wrapped tightly around him, James aimed a hefty kick at his friend. Sirius' yelp told him his foot had hit, well, home, as it were, and he scampered to the nearest exit to nurse his wound.

James smirked. It was just as well Sirius had been there really- the absence of things to kick could have left him in a bad mood all day- not what you wanted when there was so much havoc to be caused, and so, so little time.

0o0

Alice Fletcher smiled happily as she stepped on to the hustle and bustle of the schools station. She loved the first day back. It was everything that she loved about Hogwarts without the workload. You could chat to your friends, catch up with all the school gossip, use magic- a definite bonus after 8 weeks of muggle-living. You got the fantastic banquet spread when you arrived, the general party atmosphere, the Sorting, laughing at all the first years… This year, she recalled vaguely, Aiko's half sister would be starting…what was her name again? Kanako, that was it. But no work! It was perfect. She scanned the station for her friends, blushing a little as a fair haired seventh year boy waved and grinned at her, mouthing something that looked faintly like 'see you later.' She smiled to herself, and resumed her scanning of the crowded platform.

A group of Hufflepuffs she had been acquainted with last year beamed and waved at her. Alice waved back, making a mental note to actually write to some acquaintances next summer. Aiko's boyfriend (a tall, good looking 7th year Ravenclaw by the name of James McIntyre) was standing a little apart from the crush of people, looking rather superior as he leant against the wrought iron post that bore the platform number.

The effect of this was rather spoiled a moment later as little blur of purple and green shot past Alice, jumped on McIntyre and began, well, _greeting_ him in a highly enthusiastic manner; something which merited a good amount of tutting and glares from the mothers of some of the younger students, who evidently thought that that sort of behaviour would somehow besmirch the eyes of their beloved offspring. McIntyre did not appear to mind being pounced on in such an undignified way, in fact, he was evidently rather enjoying it. Alice grinned at Hepzibah, who had also just arrived, and gestured for them to go and load their luggage onto the train- or at least find a porter who would do it for them.

Aiko- who had somehow managed to prise herself away from McIntyre for long enough to say hello- came over to join them.

"Guess what?" She asked them, smirking.

"You're leaving school?" guessed Alice. "No- wait- you're leaving because you've been made queen of a large yet underdeveloped country in the Pacific ocean?"

Aiko gave her a withering look.

"No need to be so sarky, Alice m'dear," she said tetchily. "Seriously, guess what?" Hepzibah and Alice exchanged blank glances as Aiko looked expectantly from one to the other.

"McIntyre got made head boy!" she exclaimed gleefully. Alice raised an eyebrow - _That explains the superior looks_ – she thought, but not out loud.

"That's- errr- nice?" she vocalised. She did not at all like the evil glint in Aiko's eyes- it had appeared many times before, most frequently resulting in detentions, groundings and general lack of rule-abidingness.

"If he is head boy..." Aiko smirked, "he gets to hand out punishments to naughty girls…" Alice did not at all like where this conversation was heading. "…And I can be a very, very naughty girl when I want to be. Imagine all those _punishments_ he'll have to dish out…"

Hepzibah interrupted this rather unsavoury conversation with a choking noise that could have been amusement or revulsion, Alice wasn't sure. Aiko seemed to find her friends' reaction nothing short of hilarious- she was chortling manically to herself as the other two girls faces contorted into disgust.

"Aiko!" Hepzibah spluttered. "That is WAY too much!"

Amid Hepzibah's choking and Aiko's slightly deranged laughter, Lily arrived. Alice sighed with relief. The in-depth working of Aiko Yasui's sex life was not something on which she liked to dwell for longer than necessary. She hugged her friend by way of greeting. Loading their suitcases on to the already packed train, the girls chatted and gossiped amiably about their fellow students for a few minutes.

Their chat, however, was rudely interrupted by a large number of high-pitched shrieks emitted somewhere behind them. The girls had been so preoccupied in loading their trunks that they failed to notice that events on the platform had taken a slightly more, shall we say, _diverse_ course in the five minutes after Lily arrived.

There could only ever have been one culprit for the chaos that met the girls' eyes as they whipped around. Well, four culprits. The image before Alice and her friends was that of complete and utter mayhem.

Someone, and Alice had a good idea who, had decided that it would be a great welcome back surprise for their fellow students to release a tank of large, flesh eating slugs onto the platform, the ramifications of this being a complete lack of decorum being shown by the majority of their fellow students. One second year girl had attempted to climb the platforms wrought iron sign, and was clinging to it half way up, sobbing hysterically. Next to her, Lily tutted irritably, muttering something about lack of respect and responsibility, although Alice had the sneaking suspicion that she was trying very hard not to smile.

Exasperated by the lack of backbone being displayed by her fellow students, Alice watched as Lily marched purposefully up to a group of her fellow sixth-year Gryffindors, a group of four boys, who were standing to one side and looking suspiciously unperturbed. Nearby, James McIntyre, evidently trying to live up to his new badge, was shouting authoritatively at various people in a vague attempt to calm the situation down.

"I suppose you think this is amusing, don't you!" Lily was doing a good job of sounding authoritative considering how close she was to laughing.

Sirius did a melodramatic double take as if he had only just noticed her.

"EVANS!" He launched himself at her, enveloping her in a bear hug, which had the added effect of drowning out her protests. "How absolutely SPIFFING to see you!" He drew back and planted a big, wet kiss on her cheek. Lily couldn't help herself. She giggled. Alice admired the fact that a Marauder had made her friend laugh- it _was_ quite an achievement. Admittedly Lily had more tolerance for him than she did for James, but still.

"Lovely to see you too, Sirius." She turned to face the other three boys and addressed them all.

"How on earth did you get all these slugs here?" she enquired. "Isn't it illegal to import them now?" The four boys grinned guiltily.

"They aren't really flesh eating slugs," explained James. "Me and Sirius put engorgement charms on some regular slugs then kinda transfigured them a bit so they looked more like the flesh eating variety." Lily's disgusted expression was worthy of Professor McGonagall, but Alice could tell from the twitch of her lips that she secretly found the whole situation rather amusing. If nothing else, Lily always appreciated imagination.

"And here was I thinking that being NEWT students might have actually made you grow up a bit. I'm sorry I put so much faith in you." She spat. James grinned at this.

"You were putting your faith in me Evans?" He smirked. "Ahhh, that's nice. I always knew you had a soft spot for me, its really quite sweet how your gigantic crush on me is so - AARRRGGHGH!"

Sirius, Peter and Remus doubled up with laughter as James' entire body froze- he teetered dangerously on his heels for a second before crashing backwards onto the cold platform floor. Lily glared pityingly at the petrified body before she gracefully turned on her heel and walked off.

"See you in the Prefect's carriage, Remus," she called carelessly over her shoulder. Looking back over to her sixth year friends, Alice sighed. It looked as if they (once again) would be lumbered with clearing up Marauder mess. Grabbing her school cloak, the girls (with the exception of Aiko- who after seeing McIntyre shouting at people had announced that she loved Men With Authority and gone to snog him some more) started summoning the slugs towards them, shrinking them as they flew through the air so that they would fit in the cloak. Alice groaned at the sight of the slimy trails left all over her best coat- so much for a great first day.

0o0

Back over by the platform sign, Sirius watched, amused, as his female classmates did their best to call the slugs to order – an exceptionally difficult task. When the boys had stopped laughing at James' expense- he looked comically furious- his paralysed face doing its best to manage a look of dismay- Sirius lazily pointed his wand at James and muttered a counter-curse. James leapt up, spluttering indignantly and rubbing the back of his head

"What…wha… she…huh?" he managed to choke out. Sirius beamed patronisingly at him.

"I think- though I'm not _completely_ sure- that that was just Lily's little reminder that she'd still rather date the giant squid than you, ole buddy ole chum." James glared at him, and looked towards where Lily was standing, still busy summoning slugs into the cloak. The hubbub seemed to be subsiding a little now; the number of slugs was decreasing, the second year girl had climbed down from the signpost and was now shaking in the arms of a third year boy, who was patting her head in what he seemed to think was a comforting way. Sirius sniggered at James, who was blushing- probably from the humiliation of being hexed by not only a girl, but the girl he would most like to impress. With his ego bruised and more than a little embarrassed, James stomped into the train to go and find a carriage. Sirius looked at Remus.

"Ever notice that Prongsie is always the one to come out of our pranks worst off?" Remus laughed, walking off absentmindedly towards the prefect carriage. Yes, James did always seem to get out badly, but Remus was not fooled. He was pretty sure that Lily only put up with him- Remus- because he was a Prefect. She disliked the Marauders on principle. Remus did not like being disliked- especially if it was partly his fault. He had already betrayed Dumbledore's trust by illegally helping his friends to become animagus and running around the grounds transformed. He didn't want to cause any more trouble than he possibly could. Whether he liked it or not- Remus Lupin's place at Hogwarts was- and always had been- a delicate thing. Sobered by this thought, Remus made his way to the prefect carriage.

0o0

The girls stared lazily out of the window of the Hogwarts express. Five hours into the tediously long journey and they were bored. Aiko was in a strop because James McIntyre had to spend the entire journey getting acquainted with his female counterpart who was, in Aiko's own words 'that slag Nisha Joshi'. Hepzibah, who had the shortest attention span of all the girls when it came to long journeys, seemed to be swapping between sighing gustily, filing her nails and glaring at her watch. Lily had returned from the patrolling the corridors about half an hour ago and was now slumped in the corner of the compartment reading a thin novel with a picture of a swooning witch and a handsome wizard on the front which was entitled '_Come What May'_. Only Alice looked awake- she kept glancing round at her friends, and then glancing out of the door into the corridor. She was expecting someone. Someone important.

Unbeknown to her friends, Alice's study time in the library in the weeks leading up to their exams the previous year had not been spent alone, but rather in then company of her tutor, an intelligent and rather attractive seventh year Gryffindor named Frank Longbottom. Much to Alice's immense delight, they had found they had a huge amount in common. Frank, like her, had a driving ambition to become an Auror, a passion for muggle music and an adoration of the Tutshill Tornados. They had been corresponding all summer.

Alice checked her reflection in the pink hand held mirror that she had borrowed from Hepzibah, and immediately chastised herself. What did she care what she looked like? They were just friends, weren't they? _Yeah,_ said a little voice in her head, _sure. If you are just friends, then why have you not told your _other _friends about him? Someone has a little crush, methinks! _

"Shut up!" Alice said out loud, annoyed at the interruption in her thought pattern. _Your mascara looks great, by the way,_ the little voice in her head complimented. Alice ignored it.

"Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness, you know." A deep voice spoke from the doorway and jolted her out of her daydream. Alice looked up, startled to have been caught muttering, to see a tall, blue eyed, sandy haired boy grinning at her. Frank. Alice blushed scarlet.

The arrival of a stranger at the compartment door and the obvious discomfort of the small, round faced girl awoke the three other 6th years from their stupor. They stared from Alice to Frank inquisitively, as if they were some form of mild entertainment usually found in a zoo or circus.

"Hi!" Alice squeaked, in a voice much higher than her normal one- something that the other girls- bar Hepzibah, who was still absentmindedly filing- picked up on at once. Their looks changed from mild interest to alert suspicion- their heads were all turned towards Alice questioningly. Frank smiled again- perhaps from the attention he had gained- and spoke.

"I, err…" There was a hint of laughter about his voice. "Just thought I'd come and congratulate you on your, err, OWLS, but I can see I've interrupted, so I guess I'll just…leave?"

"You weren't interrupting!" Lily managed to choke out, smirking as Alice's face changed from scarlet to beetroot, and then settled on a sort of deep purple colour. "Why don't you take a walk with her? So you can, you know, congratulate her and all." She smiled a sugar sweet smile at Alice, who was looking daggers at her. Frank's expression was somewhere between confusion and amusement. He looked puzzled for a second, and then evidently decided that the latter emotion was preferable, and laughed.

"Alice?" Frank looked at her in what could quite possibly have been a please-lets-escape-your-friends sort of way. Alice, after sending another filthy look over her shoulder at her friends, scampered out of the compartment after him.

"Sorry about that," Alice apologised as the door slid shut behind her. She found herself automatically more relaxed now the prying eyes of her friends were behind them. Frank looked sheepish.

"Don't worry about it. How was your summer? And…" he turned to face her and looked her in the eyes. Alice shivered. "More importantly, how did your results go?" _Oh_…! Alice's internal commentator started up again without warning. _You didn't tell him what your results were, eh? Whys that then? Wanted _personal_ congratulations did we? You can't lie to your own brain Alice. You luuurrve him!_

"I got…" For some reason she was stammering slightly. What the hell was wrong with her? She had been fine last year! "Ah… eight Outstandings." She blushed and giggled as Frank's handsome face split into an overjoyed expression. She shrieked happily as he lifted her up into a hug and spun her round. _Get in there Alice._

"You genius!" He beamed down at her. "We can train to be Aurors together now!" _TOGETHER eh Alice? Wow, you know what, here's a crazy idea! Maybe he likes you too!_ Alice was sure her brain hadn't always been this vocal. And when had it started speaking in whole sentences?

Frank put a friendly arm around her shoulders and gave her a hug.

_Alice and Frank, sitting in a tree- K-I-S-S-I…… _sang Alice's brain.

0o0

Alice- as much to avoid her friends prying questions as to enjoy Franks company- spent the rest of the journey in a compartment with several seventh year Gryffindors, all of whom were extremely nice and did not seem at all perturbed by Alice's presence in their midst. She was very glad of this, as she was often rather timid around new people if she was the one responsible for making conversation. She spent a highly amusing afternoon playing exploding snap, building towers out of chocolate frogs; _See, Alice us seventh years have such mature pastimes!_ and reading quizzes from pre-teen witch magazines - _Which witch are you?_. Frank had been delighted to discover that he was most like Grunhilda Boggleminster- eight times winner _of Witch Weekly_s most wanted figure award- declaring that "It must be my voluptuous bosom." Alice was having so much fun that she barely noticed as night fell and as the lights of Hogsmede appeared on the horizon.

It was almost a disappointment to be leaving the Hogwarts Express, particularly due to the fact that- true to form- it was tipping it down with rain. Alice did not envy the first years in those ridiculous boats. She thought she glimpsed Aiko's little sister shivering and drenched somewhere near Hagrid, but she couldn't be sure. What with their hair plastered to their faces and disgruntled expressions, the first years all looked pretty much the same. Alice had tried- and failed- to pretend that she was not pleased when Frank offered her his coat, although she dreaded to think what kind of inferences her friends would draw form the innocent gesture.

Pleasant as the company was, Alice was relieved to finally reach the warmth of the Hogwarts Great Hall, drenched and shivering. The gnawing hunger pains in her stomach alerted her to the fact that dinner was long over due and that a huge feast was pretty much exactly was she needed. Making her way past the Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables she sat half way down her own table, determinedly avoiding the gaze of a one Lily Evans, whose eyes were boring into her. Alice sat down nonchalantly, evidently deciding it was best to pretend that she had not just abandoned the company of her best friend to spend time with a boy that, as far as Lily knew, she had not even been acquainted with. She sat next to Lily.

"Terrible weather out there," she began conversationally. Lily glared at her.

"What," she spluttered, "was THAT all about?" Alice feigned ignorance- after all, she and Frank were _friends_, it wasn't a big deal. Why make it such?

"I don't know what you're talking about." She turned pointedly to face the front, where a battered old hat was perched precariously on an equally battered- but probably not as old- stool.

"Frank Longbottom!" Lily hissed, her eyes wide with curiosity. "What- in the name of Merlin-is going on with you two!" Alice looked hurt- as if the suggestion that there was _something going on_ wounded her deeply.

"We're just friends," she said simply, ignoring the internal voice for what seemed like the millionth time that day- it was now laughing in a most derisive manner. Lily looked wholly unsatisfied at this excuse, perhaps due to the fact that Alice had never even mentioned Frank until this point, never mind revealed how, well, _chummy_ they were. She was, however, prevented from protestations by the arrival of several dozen rather drowned looking first years and Hagrid. Alice smiled innocently at Lily. From the front, Aikos tiny sister- she really _was_ tiny, even compared to other first years- looked rather unruffled; she was merely looking happily around at her fellow students- obviously having inherited the ability to be unfazed by anything from her older sister.

The hat-which up until this point had been quite stationary on its rickety stool-now became quite animated. The rip near the brim, as the sixth years had now witnessed several times before, opened wised and, to many of the new students shock, burst into a rather jolly song.

_**"I've sorted through new students,**_ _**For a thousand years or so,**_

_Fully qualified to tell you,_

_In which house you ought to go!_

_Our founders once decided_

_Whereabouts you all should be,_

_But now they're gone and hence they gave_

_The sorting job to me._

_I'll pick you for the house in which I'm sure you will belong,_

_The qualities for all the four are listed in my song._

_For Rowena and Godric,_

_Helga and Salazar,_

_Always knew the place to put you_

_Assured you would go far._

_Old Slytherin would wish_

_For those whose fathers blood was purest,_

_Whilst Ravenclaw chose all of those_

_Whose intelligence was surest._

_Now brave old Gryffindor_

_Got those with courage unsurpassed,_

_And Hufflepuff took all the ones_

_With loyalty steadfast._

_So when you bravely slip me on_

_I will see inside your mind,_

_I'll take a look and tell you_

_Which qualities I find,_

_And while you're there remember: I'm never wrong and that,_

_I'm the best at doing this job, the famous Sorting Hat!"_

Perhaps it was due to the uncomfortable atmosphere between herself and her best friend, but Alice found that the sorting seemed to pass far more quickly than usual. She clapped politely as _Blackwood, Kelsey, Gillespie, Samuel, Matheson, Nancy _and_ Tills, Gregory_ were all sorted in to Gryffindor. She showed more enthusiasm when _Yasui, Kanako_ also became a new member of the house- although not as much enthusiasm as two Messers Black and Potter, who simultaneously leapt on to their chairs; shouting appreciative and often inappropriate things like "yeah, baby Aiko!" and "Hey, gorgeous, if you were a few years older, you know"- a comment which got them both a hefty box round the ears from the older sibling.

Lily had evidently decided that the lack of information from Alice regarding Frank Longbottom was to be taken as a personal insult. The stony silence that resounded from the redhead made the feast slightly less enjoyable than Alice had anticipated. Hepzibah at least was still speaking to her. However, when it came to noticing her surroundings, Hepzibah was not the sharpest tool in the shed. Alice seriously doubted whether the pretty blonde girl would notice if the entire student population of Hogwarts had vanished simultaneously from the train- the absence of one measly Alice for a few hours hardly merited her attention. She was not sure about Aiko's reaction to her supposed 'betrayal' with Frank- the girl seemed far more interested in advising Kanako on which of the tiny new Gryffindors showed boyfriend potential than in falling out with Alice.

Nevertheless, being given the cold shoulder from her best friend was not exactly the perfect end to the first day of a new school year, Alice mused as she unpacked her things and set them around here large, four-poster bed. Lily- whose mood had elevated from mild annoyance to full on bitterness towards Alice as the evening progressed- had already shut the large velvet curtains, telling her other 6 roommates that she 'needed an early night'.

Despite the fact that the other girls had not been such killjoys, it was before midnight when the curtains of Alice's bed had closed and she had called it a night; trying her hardest not to be disappointed that her favourite day of the school year had not _quite_ gone according to plan.

0o0

**Well. That turned out to be a rather long chapter. Ho hum. 'Tis very late now, so I will keep this short. I really hope you liked the latest instalment (wow, put it like that it sounds so much more interesting) of my good ole fic. As you should surely know by now, unless you have selective eyesight, there is a little button right on the bottom left of this page. Press it, and you are able to give me a nice little review! Not so hard, is it? Oh, and random thought, can anybody tell me what the hell an English muffin is? Because I am English and have literally no idea. Is it like a scone? **

**Anyhoo. REVIEW!**


	5. Appetite for Destruction

_Hey, Before we start I would just like to advertise Story of The Year by TheEdithFactory (see link at the top of my profile) It's co-written by ME (and my Beta)! If you like this please feel free to check it out._

_Disclaimer: OBVIOUSLY I am not JKR, you moronic website (please don't take my story down….. I was just kidding)_

_**Chapter 5**_

_**Appetite for Destruction**_

James Potter was bored.

It was not a casual boredom; the sort felt when something fun ends unexpectedly and you are caught, unawares, with nothing to do.

No.

This boredom was much more deep set than that- the sort of feeling someone who is used to constant entertainment might feel after many long, tedious weeks of under-stimulation. The sort of boredom that results in heinous criminal acts, or else, a spontaneous craving to take up extreme sports.

James Potter was very, very bored.

Which is how, on one chilly October Sunday, he could be found (looking rather shifty to say the least) round the back of the disused Herbology greenhouse (a ramshackle affair filled with an assortment of old junk- pots of paint, broken chairs etc) with his best friend and accomplice- a Mister Sirius Black.

Sirius sniggered. He seemed, strangely, to be staring intently at an apparently locked door, laughing to himself. He turned around.

"James. PRONGS!" James- who had been keeping a casual watch for any younger students out after dark, or patrolling teachers- looked at him.

"What?" he asked. Sirius looked momentarily exasperated.

"Pass me my knife you moron!" James stuck his hand into the small black sack they had been carrying, feeling around until his hand closed on the cold, smooth metal handle of Sirius' incredibly useful family heirloom.

"Thanks" There was a scraping sound as metal brushed metal, and then a small click. The door to the greenhouse swung gently open, creaking slightly as it moved. From behind a tree on the edge of the Forbidden forest a shot of purple wand sparks could be seen.

James looked sceptical.

"Are they all going to fit in here?" he asked. Sirius glared.

"Do you dare undermine my fantastic plan?" James paused. His face split into a wide grin.

The boys looked at each other gleefully.

"Mission- Part A; Complete!"

0o0

Lily rubbed her eyes, scrubbing out the last word she had written.

The common room was all but deserted- the only other human around was Nisha Joshi; whose head girl duties kept her up until this hour almost every night. The only sound to be heard was the faint scratching of the other girl's quill on parchment as she scribbled frantic notes. Lily reread what she had written.

_In essence, the creation of amorentia is as much to do with the Potioneer's desired effect, as it is that which is as important in itself as the ingredients. This defines the kind of love it is to be recreated. Murtlap essence, for example, is most effective as an additional ingredient when the brewer wishes to create a feeling of calm, understated desire. _

Seven inches of essay left.

It was just over a month into the beginning of sixth year, and already the students were starting to feel the strain. Teachers piled mountains of homework upon them- four-foot long essays as a weekend task. An hour of non-verbal spell work a night. It was almost as hard work as fifth-year had been, only without the exam results as a reward.

Lily leant back on her chair, rolling her shoulders in an attempt to relax her taught muscles. Yes, her fist term as a N.E.W.T. student had been exhausting to say the least.

She went back to her essay, musing over the events of the last month or so.

It had not, she thought to herself, been the best time of her life. One positive was that the marauders had been uncharacteristically quiet for the time of year. This had the additional effect of limiting Lily's interaction with the group; something she assured herself was a good thing.

On the downside, Lily's friends- to whom she had always felt a great sense of responsibility towards- were as much of a handful as normal.

Despite the fact that Lily's cold-shouldering of Alice had only lasted a couple of days, their relationship had seemed rather more strained than usual. Alice still spent a lot of time around the seventh years; something that Lily found herself rather insecure about. After all, she and Alice had been practically inseparable from the word go- life without her as a major part was rather lonely.

Hepzibah was behaving in the same way as she usually did. Aloof, scatty and almost dangerously naïve, she was a risk to herself. It was her doing that found Lily still working on her essays so late into the night- her complete lack of tact had got her into more than a little bother with a group of fourth-year Slytherins.

Aiko, as always, was the worst of the lot. Despite the fact that the spirited Japanese girl was more than adept at getting herself out of the large amounts of trouble she frequently got herself into, Lily still worried slightly whenever midnight passed with no sign of her, and whenever she disappeared off with the Marauders or other troublemakers to 'go have some fun'.

In unwanted addition to unruly friends, an overly affected sense of responsibility, piles of schoolwork and ridiculously difficult lessons, Lily had also found herself loaded with an unprecedented amount of prefect duties due to the worrying turns in the current wizarding war. There had always been a hard line taken to those caught up after hours, but now the level of punishment was unprecedented. As well as this, the unpleasant duty of filling out absence forms for those students attending funerals had fallen into her hands, adding even more to Lily's already inflated time schedule.

Lily jumped slightly as the portrait hole creaked open. There was the muffled sound of footsteps on carpet before someone spoke behind her.

"Hey Evans"

It was James.

Lily groaned. Dealing with James Potter on his own at one o'clock in the morning was not the sort of thing she went out of her way to engage in.

"Hi." She replied, a touch coldly. James, seemingly oblivious to this less than friendly welcome, plonked himself down in the chintz armchair on the other side of Lily's table. She watched, affronted, as he yawned loudly, resting his head on the cushion. Her negative vibes had no effect. Neither did tutting irritably, nor glaring.

"Some of us are actually trying to work here you know" she snapped. James looked as if he were about to ignore her; his eyes remained firmly closed and he breathed deeply in a rather effective imitation of sleep. Then he opened one eye lazily, looking over at her.

"I'm not disturbing you."

It pained Lily to admit it, but _technically_ he had a point. Whilst she found his lounging presence more than a little distracting, she could not very well tell him to move, because he was not doing anything wrong. Technically. The Gryffindor common room was for use by all Gryffindors, and as James definitely qualified as one of them she could hardly object.

They sat in silence for a few minutes; Lily scribbling the last few inches of Slughorn's essay, James feigning slumber. After a while, he spoke.

"How's it going?" he asked, inclining his head towards her essay.

"Fine" she said shortly, milliseconds before realising she sounded rather ruder than intended. After all, James was being reasonably bearable compared to normal. In fact, he had just had the courtesy to ask after her schoolwork. That sort of behaviour should be encouraged.

The candle on her desk spluttered, casting James' features into stark profile.

"Been anywhere interesting tonight?" she asked conversationally. In the fluttering light she thought she saw a smirk flicker across his angular features, but she couldn't be sure.

"Nowhere you would approve of". This time, the smirk was more pronounced.

"Right" Lily made a mental note- never expect a straight answer from a marauder, _especially_ when they arrive in the common room at a ridiculous hour. "And I suppose what you mean by that is that you were out and about doing all sorts of possibly illegal things and planning stupid and dangerous pranks to pull on innocent people?" He actually laughed out loud at this.

"Evans, Not ALL of our pranks are dangerous. And the people we pull then on are rarely, if ever, innocent." Lily scowled.

"And I suppose the dozens of people you strung up by the leg with that ridiculous _levicorpus_ spell were all hardened criminals, were they?" she asked irritably. James waved this remark off casually.

"We were young, foolish, carefree spirits back then!" he said, with a hint of nostalgia. Lily snorted, causing James to raise an eyebrow.

"What makes you so judgemental, Evans? Forgive me if my memory is blurred, but I seem to recall distinctly an incident involving a one Slytherin girl - Sylvia Macnair, was it? I'm told she still bears the scars of an incredibly powerful acne hex cast by a fourteen year old Gryffindor red-head." Lily blushed a faint shade of pink.

"Yeah, well, that was a long time ago.." she mumbled rather lamely.

The conversation appeared to have ended. There was silence a little longer.

"I could check your essay for you if you like?" James asked. Lily- who had been concentrating on an interesting moth that kept flying closer and closer to the fire, but yet _still_ avoided incineration- was not sure if she had heard quite right.

"I beg your pardon?" she asked politely. James repeated himself.

"I _said-_I could check your essay for you if you like?"

Lily gaped at him unflatteringly. James Potter just volunteered to check her essay? James Potter, the boy who once jumped out of a forth floor classroom window into the lake to avoid transfiguration homework (and had been slightly dismayed when it was delivered to him in the hospital wing)? _James Potter? _After several seconds of this, she realised that she had not been speaking, merely staring at Potter with her mouth slightly open.

"Err…" she stuttered, "if you like".

It might be a slightly cynical thing to think, Lily supposed, but surely this sort of behaviour from Potter wasn't out of the kindness of his heart. She glanced at him- now with his head bent over her potions essay- and frowned. Was he trying to butter her up? Was this all an elaborate scam to distract her from the fact that at least one of the marauders had been out for most of the night, more than likely up to no good? Or perhaps he was going to ask her out again? H4e had been doing that a lot recently, although she was convinced that this was more out of the enjoyment he got from winding her up than genuine romantic feelings.

"Why are you being so nice?" she asked him, trying not to sound too accusing, and yet realising- too late- that she had sounded exactly that. James looked at her- a mock hurt expression on his face- and lay his hand on hers.

"Evans," he said, in an anguished voice, "I am _offended_ that you sounded so surprised. I am a _delightful _person, merely trying to make the world a better place by lending assistance to a classmate in distress! How _dare_ you question my motives?"

Now he really was winding her up.

There was no doubt about it, thought Lily; the Marauders were up to something.

"What are you up to?" this time she did not even try to keep the accusation out of her voice. James looked up again.

"Usually, Evans," he said mildly "when someone is helping you with homework, you politely ask how they are, perhaps comment on the weather? It could be considered rather rude to suggest that they have- how would you say- an alternate agenda?" he looked smug.

Lily glared at him.

"You are unbearable, you know that?" James grinned

"Darling, I take pleasure in it."

Normally she would have snatched up her essay and gone straight to bed, but for some obscure reason she found herself – laughing? Lily chastised herself. Just because he was being nice now, doesn't mean he was going to make a habit out of it. He was, after all, a prick. She had to remember that.

Her attentions returned to the moth, which seemed to have caught alight on one side and was providing it's own individual pyrotechnics display.

It was about ten minutes before James finished, scribbling something on the bottom of Lily's essay and handing it back to her.

"Perfect" he admitted, "I'll be very surprised if Slughorn doesn't actually pop the question after reading that essay. Mind you, I've been expecting it for years. Now _that_ would liven up a Potions lesson." And he disappeared up the spiral staircase before she could think of a decent retort.

Lily smiled to herself. It was only then she saw what he had scribbled so hurriedly at the bottom of the parchment.

_Conversations are much easier when you don't shout. _

She stared at the words, taken aback. Was that what they had just had? A conversation? Had she, Lily Evans, actually just had a civil conversation with James Potter, prat-extraordinaire? And what's more, had she actually _enjoyed _it?

0o0

Walking down the huge marble staircase the following morning, Lily was forced to admit that she might have been wrong. About Potter being up to something, that is.

The Great hall was noisy, as usual, the ghosts glided around, as usual, the entrance hall was alive with chatter and greetings, as usual. In fact, nothing seemed remotely out of the ordinary. Just an ordinary Hogwarts Monday morning.

Lily walked past the other three house tables and sat next to Hepzibah. Aiko was off with McIntyre, again. She hadn't seen her all weekend. As for Alice, Lily's stomach clenched as she noted that, once again, her best friend was choosing to sit with her new seventh year friends over her.

"Hi" Hepzibah grunted, flecks of porridge escaping from her incredibly full mouth. Lily looked incensed.

"That, Zi" she informed her friend, "Is absolutely disgusting. For someone who looks so graceful you are a complete and utter _pig"_ Hepzibah raised an eyebrow.

"Lovely to see you too." She smiled, and promptly resumed stuffing her face with all the decorum of a malnourished camel. Lily, evidently deciding that her friend's questionable eating habits were not offensive enough to merit moving, spoke.

"I had a chat with James Potter last night" she stated conversationally. Hepzibah choked on a large mouthful of warm oats; her face turned an interesting shade of purple and she forced herself to swallow.

"YOU DID _WHAT?" _She spluttered. Lily mustered up her best snotty look and regarded Hepzibah with disdain.

"I had a chat- you know, a casual conversation between two people" she said facetiously. "It's really not an uncommon thing to do you know."

This did not seem to register in the slightest with Hepzibah, who was gazing at Lily as though she had sprouted and extra limb out of her head.

"When you say _chat_…." Hepzibah began slowly, "You mean argument, right?" Lily smirked. It was true that she herself had been rather surprised at how civilly James had spoken to her. Perhaps it was the long summer break? Perhaps he actually had grown up? There was certainly no evidence of misdeeds around the Great Hall- perhaps he had had a perfectly innocent reason for being out so late?

"No, it was quite a civil conversation." Hepzibah still had the look of gaping disbelief unflatteringly worn across her normally pretty features.

"And he didn't ask you out?" she asked, incredulously.

"He doesn't _always _ask me out" Lily replied reasonably. Like it or not, the particularly _ordinary_ conversation with James seemed so much more _extraordinary_ with hindsight.

"And he didn't make any innuendos? Or call you by chauvinist and insulting terms of endearment?" Hepzibah continued, as if she had not even heard Lily's protestations. Lily had to admit that this had been slightly more surprising- James usually refrained from calling her by name, preferring 'babes' 'Love' or 'gorgeous'. Lily had at first supposed that he used these with all the girls in order not to mix up names, but recently she had been forced to concede that he was, in fact, perfectly aware of her name and simply decided to be an ass.

"No!" Lily spluttered. Hepzibah's eyebrows manoeuvred themselves into a suspicious frown.

"Why are you defending him?" she asked "I thought you _hated_ James Potter. Lily Looked surprised.

"I don't _hate_ him!" she exclaimed, "What ever gave you that idea?" Hepzibah looked flabbergasted.

"Oh… ummm…. I don't know… 'I hate James Potter with the fire of a thousand suns' 'I LOATHE Potter, he is a disgusting blemish on the face of mankind' 'Potter, I'd rather date the giant squid than you' 'Potter, you are an insufferably arrogant wart'…let's see, any of those sound familiar!"

Lily waved them off casually.

"Yeah, yeah, I know I said all those things. They were just heat of the moment after he like, blew Aubrey's head up that time, or the time when he turned that first year purple. I didn't _actually_ hate him. I was just angry."

This appeared to be news to many of the surrounding Gryffindors, who evidently thought that Lily Evans declaring that she did _not_ in fact loathe Potter with the fire of a thousand suns was enough reason to stop chatting and start eavesdropping. In any case, the surrounding table noise had dropped to several decibels lower than normal.

"But" Hepzibah seemed momentarily lost for words "But what about at the Fletcher's party?" Lily looked embarrassed.

"Well, you know he was being a prat. And a chauvinist. I don't approve of that sort of behaviour from anyone, especially-" She stopped, blushing scarlet. Hepzibah examined her exquisitely manicured hand for a few moments. Coming to, she looked round. Finally realising that their conversation was far from private, she glared at her fellow Gryffindors.

"What the hell are you looking at?" she jeered, and her fellow house members all instantly pretended to be very busy with their porridge, kippers or weetabix. "Anyway," she continued, "what did the charming Mr. Potter do to make the equally charming Miss Evans so agreeably disposed towards him?"

It was quite possible that- had she been stripped naked, exposed to the whole school wearing absolutely nothing and then subsequently planted in a very, very hot sauna- Lily could not have blushed a deeper colour. She muttered something incomprehensible.

"Speak up girl, I can't hear what the bloody hell you are saying" Hepzibah said, rather bluntly.

"He checked my essay." Lily choked, in the sort of jumbled voice that inferred she might just have said 'he stripped me naked and made love to me in a broom cupboard'. The blonde girl's eyes practically fell out of their sockets.

"He CHECKED your ESSAY!" She screeched. A small portion of the Gryffindor Breakfast table again fell silent, staring at the two girls'- now rather loud- conversation. She looked guilty, turning the volume of her shrill voice down a little. Lily was not quite sure why they were whispering. After all, James' sudden turn of kindness was a little out of character, but they had hardly been up doing the sort of ungodly things that merit whispering at the breakfast table.

"Sorry." She whispered, as the other Gryffindors began chatting again. "I mean: He _checked_ your _essay?" _She looked highly suspicious, as if this might be a code for something far worse that she hadn't yet heard of. "Are you sure this isn't just a new and elaborate plan to get you into bed?"

No- Lily wasn't sure, but the thought of Potter sinking that low didn't bear thinking about, so she did not admit this to her bemused friend.

"Yes!" Lily insisted, "In fact, he really seemed a lot more mature than normal! I was thinking that maybe over the summer he had grown up a bi…."

BADOOOMMMMMM!

The Great Hall shuddered as something- it was not clear what- had been disturbed. Several people screamed.

BADOOOM!

There it was again- sounding like an entire army was outside the entrance Hall.

CRASH!

There was a sound of splintering wood, and every single pair of eyes in the Great hall became fixed oh the door.

CRASH!

The doors flew open, revealing an almost heavenly bright light that streamed- a golden blaze- into the hall. And amongst that light, the students could make out silhouettes. Three silhouettes, to be precise. At least, three _human _silhouettes, as following them were what seemed to be ever suit of armour in the school.

The source of the noise became clear.

Every one of the suits of armour was chanting.

Chanting loudly.

Chanting something less than desirable.

In fact, what they were chanting was not the sort of chant to be repeated. Lets just say _explicit_ would be one word to describe it. _Vulgar_ may well be another.

As if to confirm her worst fears, Lily glanced down the table. There, seated, head in hands and looking more than a little mortified, was Remus Lupin.

Lily groaned.

The silhouettes began to move.

Hepzibah, seated next to Lily, began to laugh.

"Grown up a bit, has he?"

0o0

Sorry guys, I posted this last night but I spotted a couple of errors that needed rectifying.

Hey reviewers/ potential reviewers! Naked Remus/ James/ Sirius (or Peter if that's your thing, hehe) Ok, so my Beta is on holiday so I apologise profusely for any errors or grammatical mistakes. Hope you liked. Damn that was a long chapter.

_Review, anyone?_


	6. Teenage Kicks

_Hello! I've finally returned!! Sorry I took so long to update...it's the usual excuses... stress... overwork etc etc._

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed last time!!! Especially MessyrsSpideyTap your reviews keep me writing!!!!!!!_

_**Chapter 6**_

_**Teenage Kicks**_

As October faded slowly into a distinctly chillier November, the now infamous 'Breakfast Prank' seemed well on its way to becoming a Hogwarts Legend. It seemed a unanimous opinion that it should be seen as so, not only because of it's content but the way it had been carried out.

Few would ever forget the merry smile on Sirius Black's face as he was dragged out; ear first, by an irate Professor McGonagall. Who could fail to enjoy the memory of the Headmaster's stunned (and undoubtedly amused) expression as, upon rising, a nearby knight had complimented the firmness of his gluteus maximus? Yes, it was without doubt.

The Marauders were officially legends.

One could say that the Marauders (or James, Peter and Sirius, to be more specific; Remus had been keeping a suspiciously low profile since the incident) despised the new wave of attention and adoration, and that they fought hard to stay out of the limelight. One could say that. Unfortunately, one would be lying.

Did they make any attempt to appear modest? Not exactly.

Did they accept their newly upped status with grace and poise? Not a chance.

In fact, the last words you could possibly use to describe the Marauders at this stage would be shy and retiring.

James - in a way that only he could - was simultaneously balancing additional (unrequited) female attention with Quidditch practise, hexing, pranking and STILL managing to come top of the class in two of his five N.E.W.T subjects. He was, however, becoming increasingly grateful for the Marauders extensive knowledge of Hogwarts School and grounds. Being mobbed constantly by third and forth years in between classes meant that a handy escape route was often the only way to avoid an unnecessary detention for tardiness.

Sirius, on the other hand, took a far more subtle approach to his (even greater) popularity. Overplaying his rebel-without-a-cause image to an almost laughable level, he lapped up the attention in the only way he knew how.

Barefaced impudence.

Striding around the school with a barely disguised strut, he determinedly hexed, insulted, ignored and repelled the majority of the school population. In addition to this, his practice of pointedly forgetting everyone's names (save for his fellow Gryffindors) had become more noticeable than usual.

This (as Sirius was undoubtedly aware) did not the slightest to mar his reputation. On the contrary, as well as being a legend he was now viewed as 'mysterious'; possibly the highest acclaim available to a young and dashing Hogwarts star. Yet, in true iconic form, he took all the idolatry and worship in his elegant, precise stride.

It was Peter who seemed more than a little out of his depth. For someone more than used to being in the shadow of his cleverer and better liked friends, being elevated unexpectedly to the highest point of the Hogwarts social scale had come as rather a shock to him.

He looked just a little incredulous when people said hello to him in the corridor, or saved a place for him at breakfast. And of course, not to mention the occasion when the much adored Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain Elaine Roberts asked him if he would like to join her flying that evening. James and Sirius were laughing too much to describe his face accurately, but let's just say the words 'rabbit' 'caught' and 'headlights' would not have been out of place.

There was, however, at least one member of the student body less than delighted with the Marauders' new rank.

As a rule, Lily Evans did not mind being made a fool of. In fact, she was often the first to laugh at her mistakes, and it was not unheard of for her to participate in a spot of self-deprecating now and then. But it is often said that there is an exception to every rule. And James Potter was most definitely that exception.

It was not, she assured herself, that she had not liked the prank. It had actually been rather enjoyable to watch. After all, no one had got hurt, and she had personally congratulated Sirius on his work (he, it was widely acknowledged, had been the brains behind the plan).

There was just something about Potter's subtly smug demeanour in the post prank weeks that irked the hell out of her. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. Whether it was the way he smiled in that wholly self-satisfied way as he walked, no, _strutted, _along the school corridor, seemingly oblivious to the admiration and worship that surrounded him. Or the way that, despite his heavy nights being the source of much gossip and his tired and worn eyes giving him away in class, he always seemed to know the answer. Whatever it was, it had Lily bugged.

And so it was that, in a rather irritable mood, Lily could be found one chilly November morning storming along a second floor corridor towards her third period charms lesson.

"Good morning!" An overly cheerful Professor Flitwick met her at the classroom door.

Lily grunted at him. This came as no surprise to the teacher. It was common knowledge amongst the Staff that Lily Evans had acquired a large variety of appalling moods since the term began. The combination of James' presence, Alice's relationship with Frank, Aiko's constant trouble making and a whole host of new prefect duties, homework and chores was clearly playing havoc with her hormones.

However, Lily Evans was not the only sixth year student to be in an odd mood that day.

James Potter, from his seat next to Sirius, was all too aware of the fact that a large portion of the crackling anger radiating from her (rather well proportioned) figure was directed at him. She had barely spoken to him in the weeks following the evening in the Common Room. In fact, she often blatantly ignored him whilst speaking to Remus or Sirius - something he had (though he would never have admitted it) been slightly hurt by.

Unfortunately, he was also savvy to the fact that finding her current mood more arousing than intimidating was possibly not particularly appropriate. Especially being that he was sat in between his two best friends and a short and whiskered _male_ charms teacher.

James crossed his legs.

He watched her intently as she stalked angrily across the classroom, finally sitting down next to a Ravenclaw girl whose name James could not remember. Someone Capella. Possibly Helga. Or Hannah.

He was not the only Gryffindor boy showing passing interest. Next to him, Sirius turned full around in his chair and gawped openly at her; although this was more in order to gain some sort of reaction than because he found her anger in any way attractive. Lily stuck a finger up at him, and Sirius smirked.

"I always wondered what you saw in that Evans girl, Prongs. It's all coming to me now, I think. All that anger; that passion! _Fantastic_ shag, wouldn't you think?"

Not wanting to admit the fact that he might _just _have considered that before, James stared stonily at Sirius's irritating, knowing smirk.

"Are you ok, Prongs? You look a little constipated." Sirius pushed his chair back onto its back legs, rocking it slightly. He was clearly not in a compliant mood; everything – from the expression on his face, to the way he cockily sprawled his arms as widely as he could onto the table behind them – oozed defiance.

"You know..." Sirius began thoughtfully, one eye still gauging the reaction of his best friend's face, "I think I might pair up with Lily today, whaddya think?"

It's a shit idea, James thought.

"It's a great idea," James said, his expression now somewhat fixed. A slightly evil smirk was now etched on Sirius Black's handsome features.

"Good." He said. "I'm glad you agree. Sir!!!" Professor Flitwick turned around, looking for the source of the summons.

"Sir!" Sirius called out again "Sir, I had an idea for today's class!" Flitwick did not look particularly taken aback by Mr Black's abruptness; he was hardly unknown for causing a slight commotion now and again.

"And what is that, Mr Black?" the teacher enquired, wary.

"I think," he began, with the air of one about to announce that he had discovered the cure for Dragon pox, "We all ought to _socialise_ a bit more in these lessons, being N.E.W.T. students now and all. You know, work with other people. People we never usually choose to work with."

Sirius' abrupt finish seemed to take most of the class by surprise. Indeed, many were still gazing at him with nervous expressions, as if the explosive finale of his plan was about to be revealed.

He grinned. "That's it." The rest of the class seemed to come out of their trance; now that they were assured the idea did not involve ludicrous or dangerous spell work they were somewhat placated. Professor Flitwick looked pleasantly surprised.

"Oh," he began, clearly at loss of much to say in objection of this idea. "Yes, yes, I like that idea very much. Ok class!" He clapped his hands together rather pointlessly, as he already had the attention of the students. "Split up!"

There were groans from many of the pupils, and more than a few pointed looks at Sirius, who simply beamed back obliviously and swanned over to join Lily, who did not look overly happy at the choice. James gritted his jaw but said nothing, moving to join the Ravenclaw Lily had previously been seated with; a petite girl with a pale, heart shaped face and rather scruffy mouse blonde hair.

"Hi," said girl greeted him. James ignored her, choosing instead to stare angrily at Sirius, who had somehow managed to make Lily smile. He was frankly rather indignant at the fact that Sirius had managed to make Lily laugh several times in the last term, a feat that he had not managed more than twice in the last few years.

"What are we doing, then?" His partner asked again, overlooking the rude lack of response to her first greeting. James still didn't respond; his current thoughts were preoccupied with thought of elaborate plans to somehow make sure that he could pair up with Lily next time. The blonde Ravenclaw rolled her eyes.

"Yes, feel free to ignore me. I just hope you won't mind when I _curse your ear off_." Still James made no response. In fact, his eyes had glazed over and he appeared to be muttering something angrily under his breath.

"Oh, for goodness' sake. _Incendio._"

James yelped as a hot blue flame licked the sleeve of his robe, moving steadily up his arm.

"_AGUAMENTI!_" He squawked. The fire went out, leaving James with a rather singed and very wet sleeve.

"I'm Helena." The blonde Ravenclaw smiled sweetly.

0o0

Helena Capella, as it turned out, was a perfectly adequate Charms partner. She was eccentric, and rather easily distracted (a passing fly, for example, would merit at least a twenty second break in progress) but she was also chatty, pleasant and very bright. All in all, she deserved a nice, attentive Charms partner; someone who would appreciate her talents and teaching ability, someone who would make friendly conversation and perhaps even attempt a few of the more difficult spells.

In short, a partner other than James Potter.

Admittedly, after the sleeve incident he did at least show the Ravenclaw the courtesy of answering her questions, but that was about it. In the quarter of the lesson not spent gazing forlornly at his friend and Lily Evans he had made a few feeble attempts at the required charms but had hardly showed a glimmer of his usual ability. In fact, at one point he appeared to have forgotten what lesson he was in and had attempted to transfigure his desk into a Labrador. An hour in, Miss Capella had just about had enough of her wanton charms partner.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked James, whose lack of attentiveness had caused

him to conjure a large pool of yellow gunk for the fifth time that lesson. She vanished it with an absent-minded wave of her wand.

"Yes?" James replied, glumly.

"Are you gay?"

"WHAAAT???" James whipped his head around in shock. "What did you just say?!"

"I said, are you gay?" The Ravenclaw admired the flock of twittering yellow birds she had just conjured from thin air. "It's ok if you are, I won't judge you or anything. Only, you've been staring at Black with this fervent jealous rage imprinted on your face for _about_ 45 minutes now. I thought maybe you were jealous because usually _you_ work with him."

James spluttered, momentarily lost for words.

"I'm… I'm…not staring at _Sirius_!" He managed to choke out. "_Lily_ is the hot one!"

"Oh." A look of dawning comprehension appeared on Helena's face "Yes, I suppose that _does_ make more sense. You never struck me as being otherwise inclined."

James wasn't sure whether he should be glad about that, but was saved from having to make that decision when a distraction arrived in the form of a flock of conjured canaries, which made a beeline for Lily. Unhappily, this resulted in her being forced out of the way by Sirius, ending up with the two of them in a rather compromising position. She was pushing her red hair out of her eyes, giggling manically; all traces of her bad mood apparently gone.

"Listen." Helena's voice came vaguely from beside him. "If it bugs you so much then why didn't you just say something earlier? I was listening - it was Sirius' idea, wasn't it? You could have just told him not to pair up with Lily."

James looked scornful.

"What, and make Sirius think I'm a total pansy?" He gave an ironic laugh. Tell _Sirius_ notto flirt with a good-looking girl? Well why didn't he just go and tell the _merpeople_ not to _swim?_

"Why on Earth would he think that?"

"He just would; it's a girly thing to say!"

"I don't think it is."

"You wouldn't!"

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

James glanced over at the other pair. Lily wasn't talking to Sirius anymore. In fact, she was sitting slightly away from him, copying out the notes Flitwick had just conjured. What if he just snuck over there now and asked Sirius to back off?

Right.

James moved a little to the left, well within earshot of Sirius and coughed pointedly.

Sirius didn't even twitch. He coughed again.

"May I offer you a lozenge?" Sirius asked politely, the traces of a malevolent grin lingering on his mouth.

"Stop _flirting_ with her, Padfoot!" James muttered. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"What was that, Prongs mate? I'm afraid I can't hear you." James blushed.

"I _said,_" he repeated angrily, well aware of the fact that Lily had stopped writing momentarily and was glancing over in their general direction, "Stop flirting with Evans!"

"Oh. I see." Sirius smirked. "What's it to you?"

"Yes," an immediately more alert Lily injected into the conversation, "What _is_ it to you?"

If he were honest with himself, James would have had to admit that he was not entirely sure of the answer to that question. What _was_ it to him? He could hardly accuse Sirius of being inappropriate, not when it was he who had just spent the last 45 minutes sulking because he didn't get to pair up with the redhead. And it wasn't as if Lily belonged to him. Or really had anything to do with him. She was, basically, just a girl in his class. A very _nice_ girl, yes, and one he found incredibly attractive. But just a girl nonetheless.

He could see Helena staring pointedly at him out the corner of his eye, but who cared? Who was she anyway, to tell him what to do? He hadn't even known her name an hour ago.

"Nothing." He replied. Resentfully, he returned to his desk, picking up his quill and forcing his somewhat confused mind to concentrate on the notes that Flitwick had conjured up. "I'm fine"

0o0

James' mental unrest did not evaporate after charms, much to his displeasure. It was rather disquieting trying to figure out why he had got so flustered over a girl just because Sirius was eyeing her up. What's the problem? he asked himself. Sirius eyes _everyone_ up. He even eyes _men_ up sometimes – admittedly only to freak them out, but still. It really was distinctly lacking in decorum, this hormonal behaviour. He had snapped rudely at a couple of younger Ravenclaws – not half bad looking girls either – who had offered to escort him to Herbology, surprising himself more than anyone, and leaving him with a rather guilty conscience at the memory of their downcast faces.

Lunch was a decidedly mute affair. Sirius seemed aware that he was not in the best books of his fellow Marauder, and in response had decided to spend the duration of the meal charming chicken nuggets to bounce off his head in order to 'cheer him up.'

"What's up?" Sirius asked, for what felt like the hundredth time. _Smack_. The chicken nugget hit James square on the forehead.

James grunted at him. Peter sniggered.

"Shut up a second, Peter," Sirius commanded loftily, returning his attentions to the dark haired boy as the other blushed faintly. "I heard chocolate is very good for PMS, you know." James pointedly ignored that remark, wondering vaguely why the one day he felt like crap happened to be the same one on which Sirius was choosing to be a bigger prick than normal.

_Smack. _The chicken nugget redoubled its attack in the silence that ensued. James bitterly forked up another piece of sausage and pretended not to notice.

"Hey!" A familiar voice floated through the air as a girl plopped herself into the bench beside James. "My manly fellow Gryffindors! And Peter!" Aiko interrupted the increasingly awkward silence surrounding the Marauders. Peter giggled feebly.

Aiko sat back and regarded James's thunderous face with a raised eyebrow. "What's up James?" she asked, concerned. "PMS?"

That proved too much for the already tested wits of James Potter. With a muttered "_Fuck you" _to the occupants of the surrounding seats, he stalked out of the Great Hall, trying to maintain what dignity he could considering he still had the occasional chicken nugget whizzing down to pelt him on the back of the head.

Sirius hi-fived Aiko.

"Seriously though," Sirius was much less of an antagonist without the presence of his best friend. "Does anyone know what the hell is wrong with him?"

There was no response.

"He did look pretty upset." Remus reasoned. "Possibly because you were being such a cock, Padfoot." Sirius looked indignant

"I was NOT being a cock. I was acting exactly as I do everyday!" Remus smiled.

"I repeat; it's probably because you were being such a cock, Padfoot "

Aiko laughed.

"Well _someone_ has to go and find out what's wrong!" Sirius whined. His female companion sighed impatiently.

"Why don't you just go and be all 'Hey James! What's up? Fancy a manly chat about feelings?" Peter and Remus sniggered. Sirius looked scandalised.

"I can't do that!" He cried, "It's like, an unwritten rule that me and James don't have deep conversations until we officially come of age and can therefore be considered 'mature'." His companions seemed to decide that this remark did not even merit comment. "And anyway," He added, smugly. "I'm the only one who doesn't have a free this afternoon. And you know, a model student like me. It wouldn't be at all seemly to miss lessons."

"Well, don't look at me!" Remus said quickly, "I'm… ah…writing a Defence essay this afternoon. And…yeah. It's very important. Yes. Important." Peter was clearly at loss for something to say - Remus had just used the very excuse he had thought of.

"Errr… Yes…. Umm… Oh _that _essay! Yes, I have to umm…. Do that too. So, err, Moony we'd best be off to start that, don't you think?" Remus nodded.

"Best be off now then…" Without further ado, the two of them got up and made their way to the doors with remarkable enthusiasm for a piece of homework.

Sirius looked plaintively at Aiko.

"Ai?" Aiko's expression hardened as she realised what Sirius was about to ask her.

"No. No, absolutely not! I am not being your _skivvy_ and running round after James just because YOU are not man enough to find out what is wrong with him! I refuse!"

With a final roll of her eyes, Aiko swung her legs over the bench and became the fourth person to abandon Sirius in ten minutes.

Sirius looked mournfully down at his plate of chicken nuggets, cursing the cruel world he lived in.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Thanks, hope you liked. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!! Reviews make my pitiful life worthwhile...(and then hopefully Chapter 7 wont be quite so long in appearing...)

xxA-N-Pxx


	7. Sound Effects and Overdramatics

Thanks to all of the people who reviewed my last chapter and/ or added me to favourites I love you _almost_ as much as I love myself (jokes). Mrowrkat98, Lea, Fairywiccagal MessyrsSpideyTapp, Mooncheese, NancyInTheSkyWithDiamonds and Lily and James In Love 4 Eva... Your reviewing prowess almost reduced me to tears.

Apologies for the language; Aiko can be rather course when she is angry.

_**Chapter 7**_

_**Sound Effects and Overdramatics** _

"I cannot believe you roped me into this."

Aiko stood squarely outside the Gryffindor portrait hole, the mutinous expression on her face directed at a Mr Sirius Black, who was rather wishing that he had chosen a more compliant student to blackmail.

"It's not difficult!" He explained, patiently. "All you have to do is find out what's wrong and report back to me, so I can be a manly pillar of support!" The fury on Aiko's face turned momentarily to scepticism. Then the rage returned.

"Well it's not REALLY like I have any CHOICE in the matter IS IT?" She snarled at him. Sirius gave a cough that might have been hiding a snigger.

"Hey," he said innocently. "I only said that McGonagall _might_ be interested to find out what our respectable Head Boy was doing with his girlfriend in a broom cupboard when he was _supposed _to be on Patrol. How was I supposed to know you would take it so badly?" Aiko did not reply; it was clear from the expression on her face that she would quite liked to have ripped Sirius limb from limb at that moment.

With a final furious glare at Sirius (whom, it must be said, was looking indecently pleased with himself) she muttered the password and flung herself into the Gryffindor common room, slamming the portrait in his face.

The room, she was relieved to observe, was almost deserted. It was 2 o'clock on a Friday afternoon, and most of the students were still in lessons.

"James?" She called out, warily. Bugger Sirius. That bastard. How dare he expect her to be the one to sort out HIS mess?! Curse whatever fate it was that made Sirius find her and McIntrye in that cupboard yesterday. She wasn't accustomed to succumbing to blackmail, and she wasn't intending on becoming so. Merlin, if she didn't have so much respect for her boyfriend's Head boy position she would get hold of Sirius and – and -

Well, she wasn't quite sure what she would have done. But she knew it wouldn't have been pretty. Stupid Sirius. Bugger him.

"Potter?" She called out again. Maybe he would think she was Lily. After all, Lily was the only one who ever referred to him by his surname - save for the teachers of course. Everyone else liked to think they were close enough to Sirius and James to be able to address them on first name terms.

There was still no reply. Aiko looked up at the stairs leading towards the boy's dormitory, wondering whether she should ascend. It was not that she had never been up there before; most of the girls had. But at 2.00 in the afternoon? When the common room was almost empty? People might think she was… well. Having a little _rendezvous _up there. She knew she had a bit of a reputation for that sort of thing. It was quite well deserved, now she came to think about it. She sniggered at the thought. But she _was_ with McIntyre now. And he _was _a little touchy about that sort of thing.

Aiko considered the possibilities. If she _did _go up there and get caught… well… there were ramifications as far as her reputation was concerned. But then if she didn't? What about poor old McIntyre and HIS reputation? Right. That was it. She had to think of James. McIntyre, that is. She didn't really give two hoots about stupid James _Potter_ and his petty issues. With an angry shake of her head, she stomped up the first flight of stairs, then stopped, craning her neck up the spiral staircase.

"James?" she called loudly. "You up there?"

No reply. She sighed irritably. "James!"

Still no answer. For Merlin's sake! "JAMES POTTER!" She bellowed, so loudly that echoes of her voice rang around her. And for all her efforts, all that came back to her was a great big silence. The tosser. Was she actually going to have to go and coax him down from his dormitory like a sulky 13-year-old girl? What was he, a man or a mouse?

Muttering to herself, she climbed the next two flights of stairs, then paused for breath. There had better be something seriously wrong with him, she thought. Dammit, she had better things to be doing with her Friday frees than chasing round after hormonal fellow students.

After two more bone-breaking flights of stairs, she finally found herself outside the sixth year boy's dormitory high up in the wings of Gryffindor tower. It was a nice view from here, she mused. Right over the highlands. She could see the first little patches of snow on the very tops of the hills and cliffs. But anyway. Back to the mission.

She knocked on the door of the dorm. No reply. She knocked again.

"Hello?" She called out. "James Potter, I know perfectly well that you can hear me!"

Still no answer. Aiko pushed open the door, and sighed.

James Potter was sat, slumped on the floor. His pride and joy, his brand new Nimbus 1001 (a present from his parents last Christmas) was sat next to him, and a tiny gold glint (which Aiko recognised as the Snitch James had stolen the previous year) was flashing round the room. With almost incomprehensible speed, James snatched it out the air as it whizzed past his head.

Aiko tried not to look too impressed.

"You would have made a good Seeker, you know," she said casually, leaning on the doorframe.

"Thanks," he muttered, without raising his head. "But Sarah Ashborne is better."

Aiko meandered across the room, trying to summon her sympathetic head. She plonked herself down on Sirius' bed.

"Hi, James," she said, in what she hoped was a sympathetic, affectionate voice. It came out slightly too breathy though. _Dammit_ she thought _he probably thinks I'm trying to seduce him now._ The look on James face was indeed one of slight consternation, but he seemed to let it pass.

"Hi," he replied, warily. "Why are you here?"

_Because your bastard mate Black blackmailed me into coming_ she thought.

"Because I was _worried_ about you!!" she said.

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh."

Crap, what the hell was she supposed to say now? She was no good at this sort of thing. She would have never been asked if she was a bloke, she was sure of it. Curse Black, that chauvinist bastard.

"So…" Aiko looked round the room. Was that a _sock_ hanging from the chandelier??? How disgusting.

"So…?" James still did not appear to understand why Aiko was sitting sympathetically on his best friend's bed. Aiko gave him her best 'concerned look'.

"What's _wrong_ at the moment James?" She asked. "You haven't been yourself the last couple of weeks." James looked surprised that someone had noticed. Or maybe he was surprised because she sounded seductive again? Aiko panicked slightly.

"I mean - err…"

"Noth…" They said simultaneously. Aiko reddened, acutely aware that this was a Very Awkward Situation. "You talk first," she said hastily.

James raised an eyebrow at her. "Nothing's wrong."

Aiko snorted derisively, realising too late that that probably wasn't a very sympathetic thing to do. James evidently realised it too, as he lapsed into silence again. She swore under her breath.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh," she said, thinking that if James wasn't being so bloody sensitive about everything it wouldn't even have mattered. "You _can_ tell me what's wrong, if you like."

"There's nothing wrong!" James insisted; sounding a little more annoyed now.

"Is it Lily?" Aiko asked, her friend's face falling unexpectedly into her mind. Well, she was here now; she may as well cover all potential ground.

"What the hell?" James looked a tad pissed off now, although Aiko could've _sworn _he twitched slightly at the mention of her friend's name.

"Just a thought!" She said defensively. "Maybe… she's been ignoring you... more than usual since the prank… err... so…maybe - ?" James cut angrily over the top of her.

"I do have a _life_ outside your freaking friend, Yusuii!" He snapped. Aiko recoiled at the use of her surname, then felt annoyance flare up inside her. So it was like _that _now, was it?

"Fine!" She said coldly, any false sympathy now totally wiped from her voice. "Just don't take it out on me – I'm _trying_ to be nice!" James stood up suddenly, his jaw dangerously set. _Actually_ her brain reminded her_ you were trying to get your boyfriend out of trouble_. She ignored this plea of her conscience. "But - " she continued, narrowing her eyes at James' back as he began to pace agitatedly past her, " – if you're going to be such an arse about it, then I don't know why I even _bother!!_"

James wheeled around suddenly, and Aiko prepared herself for a stinging retort.

"Why would I be mad about Evans?" He asked quietly. Aiko blinked at him in surprise.

"Wha - ?"

"Why would I even think twice about her?" James didn't even seem to be paying her attention any more. "Why would I _care _what she does? What has she ever done for me, eh, Aiko?" He strode toward her, the look on his face quite frightening.

"James - "

"I don't give a SHIT about her! All she does is act like a total BITCH TO ME, and then spends the whole of a Charms lesson _flirting _with Sirius - like, like…. Like the cheap little SLAG she is!"

Aiko stared, momentarily dumbstruck. The old aggravation that had been stirring up inside her switched abruptly, and much too suddenly, into pure rage. She was so angry that, for a moment, she was rendered speechless. She simply stood there, open mouthed, spluttering on all the thought and anger that was fighting to escape her if only she could find the words to express it.

"Oh yeah?" Aiko snarled, finally finding her voice. "Well maybe, just _maybe _she wouldn't be so mean if you didn't ACT LIKE SUCH A TOTAL _COCK_ IN FRONT OF HER. And _MAYBE_, the fact that she chooses not to flirt with you doesn't make her a _slag_, it means she has some _SELF-RESPECT_!"

She paused temporarily to enjoy the stunned expression on James's face.

"She was right about you all along, James Potter," she hissed. "You really are nothing but a selfish, conceited little _twat_ who has a strop just because he can't get what he wants. You make me _sick_." James glared at her.

"Just _sod off_, will you?"

"What is it James?" She challenged. "What's _really_ wrong with you?"

"I TOLD YOU TO _FUCK OFF, AIKO!!!" _James practically screamed. "I just want you and your _stupid, slaggy little mates to leave me alone!!!"_ Aiko laughed mirthlessly. Was he really that pathetic? Was he really willing to label them all slags just because he couldn't get it into to his _swollen, pathetic_ brain that Lily was way, way too good for him, and always would be?

"Tell me, James!" Aiko demanded violently. Her anger was quickly evaporating, but his comments still hung in the air and stung her. "What the HELL is your problem?" She stopped. "Actually, you know what, don't tell me. I really couldn't give a dogs cock what you think of Lily, or me to be honest. And neither could she." She paused, then delivered her final thrust with relish. "You're probably just in _love with_ her, aren't you?"

She turned tail and went to walk out, fully expecting James to scream a denial at her.

Silence.

She turned around, slightly perturbed. James Potter was standing, slumped in the centre of the dormitory. All of the fight seemed to have left him; he looked somehow duller, more lifeless.

He muttered something Aiko couldn't hear.

"Come again?" she asked warily, half expecting him to start shouting again. But he remained as he was, eyes refusing to look at her.

"I said," He repeated, quietly. "I don't know."

"What?" Aiko was not sure what he was quite getting at. She ran the conversation over in her head again.

He doesn't know.

No. Not comprehending.

No. He doesn't know what?

No…

N- OH!!!! He doesn't… know…

Oh!

No?! Surely…

Shit.

"_You're probably just in love with her, aren't you?"_

What on earth was she going to do now?

0o0

Muahahaha…… Okay that is _officially_ the quickest thing I have _ever_ written. Apart from maybe my last history essay. But I did only get a B- for that…Anyway, if you are expecting Lily to find out and fall madly in reciprocating love with James in the next few chapters, don't. It shan't happen.

Ok, I really hope you liked. A bit o- the old ANGST there, don'cha think?

Reviewsss….. pleeeeeasee…??? (silent begging)

XxA-N-PxX


	8. Voices of Reason

Hey guys… SO sorry for the obscene and inexcusable delay with this chapter, all I can say is that – being both very lazy and having a lot of work – I am very behind with everything. So like, big apologies and humongous love and thanks to everyone still reading this.

Chapter 8

Voices of Reason 

Aiko stood, frozen.

She had been stood; stock still, staring at James Potter for a good 35 seconds. Had anyone chosen that moment to burst in on the two Gryffindors, they would have undoubtedly deduced that a freezing charm had been cast over the two.

There was silence. Even the crows that made their shelters in the eves of the house tower seemed to hush in the reverence of what had just passed. But, in the peace and stillness of her surroundings, Aiko's mind was racing.

James Potter? Had James Potter really just revealed what she thought he had???

It wasn't possible. Surely not.

Aiko recalled her memories of the boy in front of her; trying to access any sort of hint, any _flicker_ that what she had just heard could even be humanly possible.

It wasn't that she considered James incapable of love. Not exactly. But….

Lily?

How?

He barely even knew the girl. I mean, sure, they'd _talked_. He sure as hell _fancied_ the pants off her; he hit on her all the time! But then… he was best friends with Sirius Black. That was what they did! I mean, pretty much every Hogsmede they were down at the Three Broomsticks chatting up that Rosie girl and flirting with any pretty random who came their way. He wasn't in love with _them,_ though!

Love?

"Are – are you sure?" Aiko said, finally breaking the deafening silence that had descended on the room. She cursed herself for such a pitiful question. He had just _told_ her he wasn't sure, what a stupid question. James seemed to think so too.

"I already said; I don't know!!" he sounded faintly frustrated, tired. There was even a hint of relief in his tone. But no longer anger. He was, by all accounts, not the boy Aiko knew. She had never seen James look so… well… _defeated_. Chewing her lip thoughtfully, she wondering what to say to him. She had never been good at knowing what to say in these sorts of awkward situations, even amongst her best friends – and now was some boy (with whom previously her deepest conversation with had been why egg yolks were yellow and not, say blue) offloading possibly his gravest secret upon her.

"Umm… so… does Sirius know?" Aiko asked, more as an attempt at conversation than insight into the problem.

"No."

"Oh." She really wasn't sure where this conversation was going, but she reasoned the sooner she made some token comforting gesture the sooner she could get out of the dorm, whose atmosphere was about as warm as a Siberian winter. She realised that telling James the truth – that the reason Lily appeared to loathe him so much was because he acted like an utter prick whenever they met in a public place – probably wouldn't be the most tactful thing she could say at that moment.

"You act like a total prick whenever you see her in a public place." Aiko blurted out. Bugger!! Since when had her brain really had that little control over her mouth? Maybe she should see someone about that.

James looked up, surprised. "No I don't!" he said. Aiko gave him what she considered her best withering look.

"Yes James," She said, as if he were a very small child "You do. When you talk to me, you discuss normal things. Quidditch, music, pranks, homework, your friends, family and whatever weird and wonderful thing comes into your almost dangerously imaginative brain. When you talk to her you make goddamn cringingly awful innuendos, or ask her out, or say stupid things about cursing innocent bystanders that you absolutely know will wind her up, and then wonder why she cuts you down!!" She paused for breath "You can't seriously be surprised that I find you being in love with her just a _tad_ more shocking than the idea of the giant squid proposing to McGonagall, can you?"

James muttered something incomprehensible, and continued to look sullen. Aiko softened a little. Yeah sure she was pissed at Sirius for landing this – rather major – issue on her, but that wasn't James' fault.

"Listen." She said, attempting her best comforting voice. "Lily doesn't hate you. And, difficult as this may be to comprehend, you probably aren't actually in love with her. Neither of you know each other well enough to feel that strongly."

James looked up "So, I'm not in love with her?" he sounded so strangely enthused at this idea that Aiko was taken aback.

"Um…. I don't know!" she said, "It's your feelings! I just thought that it was a bit soon, that's all. Being that all you ever do is get on each other's nerves"

"But you just said I wasn't in love with her!" he said, an accusatory tone in his voice. Aiko rolled her eyes.

"Well I don't bloody well know. " She said, "I'm a witch, not a bloody psychic. Anyway, it was Sirius who was so concerned about you, not me, so I suggest you go cry to him."

"I can't."

"You can't?"

"That's right." Aiko sighed. She really ought to be doing something else. Like washing her hair.

"Why not?" She asked, her patient tone catching as she struggled not to find him irritating.

"Because…"

"Because…? Oh what a fantastic counter argument."

"Because I don't _do_ deep conversations with Sirius. Unless I'm drunk. Or he is. It a bit… well… _unmanly_." Aiko laughed out loud.

"Unmanly? _Unmanly?"_ She said, through snorts of laughter_. "_You wont tell your best mate to stop flirting with a girl you like because you think it's too _unmanly_?! Bloody Hell James, what are you? Neanderthals? I thought we had evolved out of the grunting as a form of speech, although I guess your breakfast conversation proves not."

James glowered. "I don't _want_ to be in love with her." He told her, pointedly ignoring her last remarks. "I could get any girl I wanted!" Aiko would have laughed harder, had it not been at least partly true. "Why on earth would I want to like _her_, when she thinks I'm such a tosser?"

Serious as the situation was, Aiko was having a hard time not finding it absolutely hilarious. James Potter - King of the Quidditch pitch, partner in crime to Sirius Black, adored for the fact he was so unobtainably, unashamedly arrogant – sitting at her feet confessing his utter infatuation with Miss Perfect Prefect 1973, the only girl ever to openly express an intense dislike of him. And he was too scared to confide in his best friends for fear of losing his alpha male ranking, or damaging testosterone levels in the dormitory or something. It was better than _Coronation Street._

Aiko perched on the tidiest of the available beds – Lupin's, by the looks of it, as it was the sole one with evidence of school work on it – and studied James. It was odd, seeing him looking so depressed. She still couldn't quite believe what she had heard. It sounded so unlikely.

"So," she said, "what are you going to do?"

"Nothing." James replied. "I'm going to do nothing." Aiko would have responded, but something in James' tone told her quite firmly that the conversation was over.

James no longer seemed aware of Aiko's presence in the room – at least, he was completely ignoring her – instead breaking stray twigs from his broom tail.

"You might want to go." He said, finally. "Please don't tell anyone what I said"

"I – I wont….. If you don't want me to, that is" she said, backing towards the dormitory exit, still acutely aware of the intentness with which James was studying the broom; rather in a manner of one close to mental collapse.

Aiko thought it would be a bit callous to leave without some parting words of advice or comfort, but – as she walked out the door – she could not for the life of her think what those words should be.

0o0

Aiko – true to her word – said nothing over the next few weeks. In fact, she barely allowed herself to think of it - particularly in front of Lily - for fear that her brain would start acting of it's own accord and spill out the whole sorry story.

Much to her great surprise (and sometimes consternation) James did not seem in the remotest bit different after telling her his 'big secret'. If anything, he was back to his old self even more – his fits of sullenness, anger and silences had decreased in any case, and he was back joking and pranking and cursing Slytherins with as much gusto as Sirius. Aiko wasn't sure what to put this down to. She very much hoped that it was a result of her listening (albeit rather unsympathetic) ear, because the whole situation was causing her enough grievance that she hoped at least some good had come of it. She did not, however, miss the flitting glances he gave Lily during lessons when he thought no one was watching.

0o0

The following Saturday was rather esteemed in the view of the student body, in that it was the last Hogsmede visit before Christmas and hence gave ample opportunity for present buying and dating.

It was, by all accounts, the Marauders' favourite day of the year, with the possible exception of Christmas.

This year, however, posed somewhat of a downer on the possible fun, in that one of their numbers was to be missing.

Remus.

From an early age the knowledge that - with only six people in their dorm - one of the Marauders was likely to be made a prefect had hung over them, promising an early death to their criminal careers. And since Remus was seemingly the only one without significant mars to his name (James and Sirius held the record for the number of joint detentions at Hogwarts in the last 100 years, Peter was not exactly gold in terms of exam results and, according to Sirius, the other two boys in the dorm were 'far too ugly to represent the school') he was the chosen one.

Now, normally their friend's status had very little effect on their misdemeanours (Remus, in letting his friends gallivant around the school environs with his werewolf self once a month was hardly in a position to take moral high ground over anyone). However, there were certain specific downsides to his rank. For example, the fact that, once a year, he had to miss the best Hogsmede opportunity in order to hang icicle shaped baubles from the entrance hall ceiling and manoeuvre huge Christmas tress into place with all the other prefects.

Which is how, serenaded by Sirius' mocking tones and regarded with open jealousy from James for the fact his 'duties' involved so many pretty girls, Remus spent his Hogsmede weekend halfway up a humongous ladder with Lily Evans and James' blonde Charms partner Helena, being snapped at by Professor McGonagall and ordered found by an irritatingly chirpy Flitwick; who had clearly been taking an early preview of his Christmas sherry and hence had to redo the silver bubble garland four times before it was straight. The work, as well as being incredibly tedious, was also tiring, and by lunch break the prefects found themselves exhausted, sweating and with several less jumpers than they started off with.

Remus took a seat next to Lily as Professor Flitwick began to give a rather tipsy speech about the joys of Christmas.

"Having fun?" he asked, grinning. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Don't." she said. "I sent Hepzibah down to Hogsmede with a two foot list of things to buy for me as Christmas presents, and I just know she will come back having either lost the list or ditched it and bought me an endless supply of Zonko's crap and fizzing whizzbees." Remus laughed.

"What about her present? Surely she will know what you've got her?"

"Have you not met the girl?" Lily asked, smiling, "I could write THIS IS HEPZIBAH'S PRESENT! In giant letters next to what I bought her and she would probably think that it was actually a conspiracy theory and that I'd actually bought her something else. Either that or she would be so busy looking for the smallest post office owl that she would forget to even look at the list." Remus raised an eyebrow.

"I thought Hepzibah was smart?" he asked.

"Oh she is" Lily said, matter-of-factly. "It's just when they handed out common sense she was busy watching passing butterflies." Remus laughed.

"Why didn't you get someone else to do your shopping for you?" he asked "What about Aiko?"

"Oh yeah. Aiko's with James McIntyre today, so she won't get out of the pub. And she has been acting really weird the last week anyway. I think there is something bothering her, but then to be honest with Aiko it's sometimes best not to ask." Remus recalled the numerous times when McIntyre had got his girlfriend out of sticky situations, and saw Lily's point.

"Alice?" he asked. Lily's face darkened and Remus suddenly wished he had kept his mouth shut. Alice and Lily - despite having been best friends since that fateful moment aboard the Hogwarts express in first year when Lily punched James in the face for refusing to apologise when he knocked Alice over – had become noticeably more distanced form each other since Alice had started hanging around with the seventh years. It was hardly an official fall out, no one had bitched or bullied, but it was hardly what one would describe as the warmest of relationships.

"Umm, sorry" Remus said sheepishly.

"It's ok" Lily replied. "Don't worry about it."

Lily, as far as she could see, had ever right to be mad with Alice. She had, after all, committed the ultimate crime against friendship, in that she had ditched her friends for a bloke. Not just on a part time basis, either

"So." She said brusquely, clearly changing the subject, "Where are all your friend's today?" Remus thought.

"Umm, probably in Zonko's" he said. "And they will be for the entire day, I expect. You don't disapprove, do you?" Lily laughed.

"Hey!" She said, in mock annoyance. "I _do_ have a sense of humour, you know. And I will have you know that, deep down, I found that breakfast prank very funny. I just thought you all acted like utter morons in the aftermath."

"Now here was I thinking our genius went unappreciated by the resident prefect!"

"Ha! At least _this _resident prefect doesn't participate in such petty rule breaking. Or am I to believe the story that you were utterly blame free?"

"Why of course." Remus smirked "I have no part in my friends criminal actions!"

Lily sniggered.

Just at that moment, a rather terrified looking first-year girl approached Lily. Remus nudged her, and she looked round.

"Umm…" the first-year stuttered, "Just thought you should know that… umm… well… my friend said, anyway, I'm not actually sure, but…"

"What's up?" asked Remus kindly. The small girl looked even more terrified, she seemed unsure of whether Remus was being rude to her.

"Carry on." Lily said. The first-year glanced nervously at Remus, and then back at Lily.

"There is a girl crying in your dormitory."

0o0

In Hogsmede, the remaining marauders were not, as Remus had predicted, stocking up from Zonko's. As it turned out, James had snuck out of school just three days earlier to replenish his waning supply of Filibuster's Fireworks so, whilst Peter went to the Post Office to enquire as to the cost of a card to Bournemouth, James and Sirius were instead enjoying a leisurely spot of plotting in the Three Broomsticks.

The noise and crowds in the bar meant it was a perfect place to go without risk of being overheard, as well as providing a point for Sirius and James' cosy chats with a Miss Rosemerta, great-niece of the landlord, who, as always, looked rather becoming in her tight, low-cut barmaid blouse and seemed to be rather distracted by the boy's amusing banter; at least, she tried to sell fire whisky to a thirteen year old which whilst simultaneously presenting a very confused warlock with a large glass of Beebe's Blackcurrant Cordial.

"Hey! Rosie!" Sirius called over the counter, "Bring me a Firewhiskey will ya love?"

Rosemerta giggled,

"You," She said, mock sternly "Are underage! I don't wanna throw you out! And… " She added, giggling, "I am not your love."

"That's right." James interrupted "She is mine! Fantastic night last night by the way." He added a greatly exaggerated wink for effect.

"I thought you loved _me, _James?" Sirius interjected, throwing an arm around his best friend.

"Gerroff me, Padfoot!"

"See?" Sirius said, "What did I say? He's too ashamed to come out. Too scared to admit his own sexuality. But in reality? Bent as a old warlock's willy, this one. If you want hunk of hot straight manliness…" He flexed his muscles and blew a kiss, before James punched him and sent him sprawling onto the floor.

"Ooooh, Padfoot, diddums," he cooed, ignoring a muttered call of "_unmanly" _from Aiko, who happened to have chosen that exact moment to push past him with McIntyre " Not manly enough to take a weeny girly punch from me?" he leant over the counter. "How about one on the house?"

"Oy you two! Bugger off and stop harassin' my barmaid!" an irritated landlord shouted from the side of the bar. James sniggered.

At that moment something of a commotion could be heard coming form across the bar. Sirius' ears pricked up, his smile becoming decidedly canine.

"Oh look Jamesie." He said, wolfishly. "It's our friends."

A group of Slytherin boys had moved to sit near a Ravenclaw fifth year. The boy in question- a pale, gaunt fifteen year old with rather scared looking eyes who went by the name of Isaac Lovegood - was stubbornly refusing to move.

"Hey. HEY!" A skinny, malnourished-looking youth named Narcissus Yaxley shoved into him hard. "I wanna sit there! Move!" Isaac stared into his butterbeer.

"Move!" Romulus Dante, a seventh year, drew his wand and pointed it at the younger boy.

"No." he muttered

"What was that?" Yaxley leaned in closer to him "I didn't quite catch that?"

"NO!" said Isaac, louder this time. The Slytherins roared with laughter as another of the boys drew his wand also

"_Decumbo!!!" _Isaac's body was flung from the stool to the floor.

"Right." Sirius' voice had lost its amusement. Hastily drawing their wands, he and James marched across to the scene.

"Oy." James yelled. "OY!!"

The boys looked up Dante sneered.

"Why look who it is," he said, sardonically. "Ponsy Potter and his lap dog!" Sirius' wand arm twitched as the Slytherin cronies sniggered.

"Yeah, that's big coming from you _Romulus." _James smirked back, in a mocking, singsong voice. "I didn't see you looking so big when Puckerly took you out last match. Cry much did you? Did a second year girl hurts youse diddums?"

Dante growled and drew his wand, but James was faster.

"_Exustio!" _The Slytherin yelped as the sleeve of his shirt became engulfed in flame. The landlord, who had been about to interfere, jumped backwards.

"_Acerbitus!_" James gagged as his throat filled with sharp, hot bile. Every person in the pub was looking at the scene now, a few of the older drinkers looked peeved at this interruption to their conversation.

Sirius, it seemed, had decided to pick on Yaxley, whose legs seemed to be acting entirely of their own accord much to the merriment of the on looking Gryffindors.

"ENOUGH!!!" The landlord, having seemingly recovered from the sight of one of his customers undergoing spontaneous combustion, send a jet of silver sparks into the air. The pub went quiet, with the exception of a few whispered comments on _"Kids these days" _from a group of elderly witches.

"I will not," he said, his patchy moustache quivering slightly on his jowly face, "Tolerate _duelling _in my pub. Either you get out NOW, or I shall send a formal request to your head's of houses to exclude you from all future visits to this village!!" The sight of an old, balding and frail man with a limp and rather thick glasses bellowing himself red in the face was rather comically intimidating. Without any argument, the Slytherin boys picked yup their things and walked out.

James walked over to Isaac.

"Are you alright mate? He asked, kindly, extending an arm. Isaac pulled himself up.

"Yes, "he answered, vaguely. "Thank you very much. That was very nice of you…" Sirius beamed, seemingly unaware that the pub was still utterly silent, or that everyone was still staring at them pointedly. "Well done for standing up for yourself, that's what I say. Total bunch of twats, that lot."

The landlord coughed politely. Sirius looked round, surprised.

"Yes? " he enquired.

"Umm…" James poked his friend in the back "I… err.. I think he wants us to leave, mate.." Sirius laughed.

"But we were just helping out!! Don't be silly James, why on earth would we get…?" His words were cut short as the pub's owner began to redden.

"Oh… umm I see." Upon Sirus' face comprehension dawned, and he hastily grabbed James. "yes.. so… we will just be… umm… going now. Yes, silly me." He laughed a strange, high-pitched giggle, and they began to back towards the door, the eyes of a dozen warlocks – angry at the interruption to their drinking patterns – glaring at them.

"Bye" James said to them, nervously "Lovely drinking with you…"

The pub door slammed in their faces.

"Hiya!" a cheerful Peter was marching towards them from the road leading to the Post Office "So much trouble finding an owl, you wouldn't believe the price they expect me to pay – I might as well use the school owls! They're slow, but.." He stopped short at the sight of the downcast faces of his fellow marauders.

"Is something the matter?"

0o0

"I can't BELIEVE we got thrown out" James was still saying an hour or so later, having not quite gotten over the humiliation of being forcibly removed from his favourite haunt, and hence having returned to Hogwarts citing 'bad humour'. The two evicted had then proceeded to drink half of Sirius' secret stash of Firewhiskey and so were rather tipsy for four o' clock in the afternoon.

"Oh do get over it you two!" Remus, who had finished his prefect duties just fifteen minutes ago, was already fed up with his friends' perpetual whining. "It's not like you are banned from the place, is it?"

"Oh GOD!!" Sirius clutched at Remus desperately, "you don't think that's what he meant, do you? When he told us to get out? OH MY GOD I CAN NEVER GO BACK!" he threw himself pitifully onto a nearby divan.

"Don't be so ridiculous Padfoot." Remus said, and went back to reading his tome about the History of Goblins. In all honesty, he was far more concerned about Lily and where she had disappeared to after the first-year had come for her that he was about his friends temporary expulsion form the local brewery.

Three hours beforehand, three floors up from where Remus lay reading, and Sirius and James lay lamenting the loss of an hour in the Three Broomsticks, Lily had ascended the staircase to her dormitory to find Alice Fletcher sobbing on her bed.

"Lily," she had chocked, her mousy brown locks damp from the tears pouring profusely down her cheeks. "I'm so, so sorry. I've messed everything up."

0o0

Well, Pensez-vous that it is good? You can always tell me you know. There is this handy little invention called a review. And since this chapter took me a very long time, be a doll and spend a very short time commenting on it, would you? Constructive criticism welcome, my Beta is on holiday so apologies for errors.

XxA-N-PxX


	9. When I Argue

**_Sorry it is short, but my beta's internet was down, so she had to beta it at school and it was rather awkward and stuff (that's the reason for the wait…. Not that I am blaming you Mooncheese darling… you did a fantastic job.)_**

_**Chapter 9**_

_When I Argue_

_Three hours beforehand, three floors up from where Remus lay reading, and Sirius and James lay lamenting the loss of an hour in the Three Broomsticks, Lily had ascended the staircase to her dormitory to find Alice Fletcher sobbing on her bed. _

"_Lily," she had choked, her mousy brown locks damp from the tears pouring profusely down her cheeks. "I'm so, so sorry. I've messed everything up."_

0o0

Lily Evans was one of those people who always knew what to do. If you hadn't been listening astutely enough in a Potions lesson, or perhaps had been momentarily distracted by a snow flurry in a crucial Transfiguration lesson; she would be the one to go to. If your best friend had ditched you for a boy, or your boyfriend had ditched you for your friend, she would be the first one to offer helpful advice.

She was the sort of girl with whom you could converse and come away thinking that – no matter how short the conversation – Lily Evans really, truly and utterly _understood_ you. She could _relate _with you. And, with the obvious exception of certain male classmates, she was very good at putting whatever differences one might have had with her in the past to one side, and focusing on the problem at hand.

Yes, it was the general consensus that Lily Evans was Good With People.

And yet, as that same Lily Evans stood in front of her sobbing best friend, compassion seemed rather fleeting.

Because, if she was completely honest with herself, Lily didn't want to sit down and ask her what was wrong. In fact, she didn't even particularly care. What she _really_ felt like doing was turning round and walking straight back out of the room.

It was strange. It wasn't even as if they had had a proper fall out. They had merely…. Stopped speaking. Alice hadn't been overtly rude to Lily, or even rude at all. It was strange then, how Lily felt so… dispassionate. She didn't want to shout, or get angry… it wasn't even _anger _she was feeling. Lily's eyes were expressionless as she took in the unexpected scene before her.

Alice's tears were still flowing; she was hiccoughing from the weight of her sobs. Lily thought quickly.

"_Accio,_"she muttered, and a nearby box of tissues sprang readily into her hand. She handed them to Alice without sitting down. Her mind was still racing. If someone had asked her an hour ago what she would have done if Alice had suddenly appeared begging for forgiveness and sobbing hysterically into her pillow, she probably would have thought for a moment, before answering that she would forgive her, of course, and find out what was wrong and how she could make it better.

That was what Lily did. She forgave people.

So why, in reality, did this exact same sight make her feel so cold?

Lily breathed in deeply. Ok, so she knew what she had to do. She would find out what was wrong. It might be the last thing she felt like doing at that moment, and she might not feel like cheering Alice up very much but she _had_ to; because that, of course, was the Right Thing To Do.

Alice took the tissues, pulled out five and pressed them to her puffy cheeks, her chest heaving with sobs. Lily noticed, not for the first time, how ill she had started to look. Her eyes were red and sore, and dark circles were etched around the lids from lack of sleep. Her tear streaked face had a slightly pallid look about it, as if she had not ventured outside in a while, and she had definitely lost weight. She made a pathetic, miserable sight. And yet...Lily tried to justify her feelings to herself.

She wasn't a selfish person, Lily assured herself. She _wasn't_. But Alice had ditched her. She – Lily - her most loyal friend at Hogwarts, and the person who had been so for almost five and a half years. Just because, well, because she _liked_ someone.

Some guy.

What was with that?

Even _Aiko_, who was barely capable of surviving 18 hours without male company, at least had the decency to _talk_ to her. And sit with her at meals. Well, most of the time. What the hell kind of person just _ditched_ their friends totally for _some guy?_

Lily bit her lip. She _couldn't _say those things. She _couldn't. _Yeah sure, Alice had done the one thing that, until a few months ago, Lily had thought all her friends incapable of, but she was _upset_ now. She couldn't shout at her, because it would be like kicking a sick person, or a small injured animal.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked woodenly, after assuring herself that she had control over her personal feelings. Alice shrugged, her face partially obscured by the pillow she was hugging to her chest. Lily swallowed hard. There would be time for apologies and reparations later, she assured herself. Right now, she had to look after her best friend.

'_Former_ _best friend' _said the tiny part of Lily's brain she could not quite control by justification.

Alice seemed to regain composure for a second; at least, Lily thought she heard a tiny attempt at speech. She looked at Alice in what she hoped was an inquisitive way.

"_Frank." _Alice whispered.

Oh.

That _was_ why she was upset. Lily wasn't sure how this made her feel. On one hand, at least it meant that Alice wasn't only back because she had got bored. But on the other hand, it meant she was only back because she had clearly had a fall out with her 'new friends'. Lily wasn't quite sure which of these was worse.

"What did he do?" she asked, unable to keep the cold note out of her voice. Alice didn't seem to notice.

"He…" The sobs had subsided to sniffles, "I saw him… with… Caerr…" The pillow drowned the rest of the sentence.

"You saw him with someone?" It didn't take a psychic to decipher what she had said. Alice nodded.

"A girl?" Again, a nod.

"_They were…"_ Alice whispered hoarsely, "_They…"_

Lily thought she could probably guess what 'they' were doing.

"He cheated on you?" she asked, almost relieved to feel a little sympathy stir inside her at last. Alice looked up, surprised.

"No!" she said, a look of confusion on her face. "We were never going out in the first place."

It was testament to the lack of communication between the two over the last months that this took Lily utterly by surprise. Admittedly, she had never actually _seen_ Alice and Frank kissing or holding hands, but she had heard Alice and Aiko talking about their relationships long into the night in the dormitory. And then of course there was the fact that they were invariably together laughing about something at the meal table. And when Alice had started sitting a little way from the seventh years Lily had merely assumed – when she had bothered to give it passing thought – that they were just going through a rough patch in their relationship. _They weren't even going out???_

"_What_?" Lily blurted, feeling that this one word summed up her emotions quite nicely. Professor McGonagall had always praised her succinctness.

"We weren't ever going out." Alice repeated. Lily hoped she wasn't going to start crying again. The old flare of annoyance laced deeply with hurt was building rapidly in her chest. She had had some sympathy with the 'cheating,' that was true. But why should she listen to a girl - who had been anything but a friend to her over the past few months - cry over the fact that the boy she dumped Lily for didn't cheat on her?

"Umm." She didn't even try to keep the coolness from her voice this time. "So let me get this straight. You are upset because a boy you weren't going out with – despite the fact you had _ample_ opportunity to do so – got off with someone else?"

Alice's face contorted. "You don't understand!" she spat, clenching her fists into her pillow. "I _love_ him!"

Lily got up, and took a step away from the bed. Alice looked up, sniffling.

"Wh-where are you going?" She was becoming hysterical again; her voice seemed to raise an octave with every word.

Lily didn't answer, because she wasn't quite sure herself. She just knew - with an inevitable sense of dawning realisation - that she didn't want to listen to Alice's problems. As far as she was concerned, only close friends could do that – close friends who _understood _each other. If Alice had wanted to confide in her she should have broken the ice _first,_ not just expect that she could turn up and everything would be fine and dandy between them.

"I have to go." She turned to leave.

Alice's head jerked up at once. "No!" she stuttered, between hiccoughs. "Please don't go! I kn-know I've been t-totally stupid, for not t-talking to you before but please Lils… please…"

Lily wasn't sure whether it was the use of such a familiar name for her that did it, but she knew she couldn't stay in the room a minute longer.

"I'm sorry, Alice." She mumbled, backing away from the bed, "I can't deal with this right now… I'm really sorry."

Alice let out a fresh burst of hysterical sobs, almost retching on her own tears.

"I'm SORRY!" she screamed, her voice reverberating around the room.

Lily turned, her eyes flashing.

"Alice," she said, her voice perfectly even despite the fact she could hear the blood pumping in her ears. "I'm sorry. I'm not going to yell at you. I'm not going to scream at you and ask you how dare you ignore me for three months and then run back when the going gets tough. I'm not going to cry, or tell you how much you used me. And…" she paused, perfectly still, "I am not going to sit here as if we last spoke _yesterday_, and listen to your sob story."

Her heart was hammering. With the exception of James, and possibly Severus Snape, Lily had never spoken like that to anyone. And… and… she had just done that…

To her former best friend

She barely seemed to notice the descent down the spiral staircase, but she seemed to reach the common room in seconds. She ignored Remus Lupin's attempt to make eye contact – she knew she wouldn't be able to hold back her emotion if he asked her how it had gone. Instead, she moved towards the far corner of the room, where Aiko sat reading her Almanac aloud to Hepzibah.

"Lils!" Hepzibah looked up, smiling. Lily almost choked at the name Alice had used for her just minutes before.

"Are you OK?" Hepzibah asked with a concerned frown as she took in Lily's stricken face. "You look kind of…" The sentence trailed off. Lily took a moment to compose herself.

"Umm…" She tried to keep her voice steady. "Would you mind going up to the… the dormitory a moment? Alice is there...I think she's upset. "

"What's wrong Lils?" Aiko had turned her attention away from her Almanac – which seemed to have some curious reading, as Aiko looked rather perturbed – and focused on Lily.

"Nothing." Lily had never before been so desperate to escape the company of her friends. "Well, something. But- but – I'm not sure. And I… I…. Have to go somewhere. Yes. That's it… So…. Yes…. Bye."

And with that, Lily walked determinedly to the portrait hole, leaving two bewildered Gryffindors in her wake.

0o0

**If you liked this and yet still do not review I may well take my own life. Can you really live with that on your conscience?**


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